Bhanter

2012... the year where anything could happen?

2012-01-08T15:21:00.000+13:00

This thing is the Mayan Calendar. And in case you haven't heard, it says the world
will end on 21 - 12 - 2012.

Do you know what would make my year? If Phil the Greek a.k.a. Prince Philip staggered up to the Olympic torch and lit it with his cigarette. That would generate some top shelf bhanter. But who am I kidding, Bubble and Squeak* doesn't smoke ciggies. He's all about the pipe. It's never going to happen.

Or is it..?

In a year where an eschatologist reigns supreme, anything could happen. The link is to wikipedia, you know you want to click it.

In case you haven't heard, the universe is predicted to bring a 2009 B grade blockbuster to life on 21 December 2012. And at the Bhanter.com Totaliser Agency Board (B.T.A.B.), the odds on an apocalypse occurring in 2012 are $10,000,000,000:1. No shit. You can actually place a bet with us if you like, we will pay out in the event comes true. We have apocalypse insurance that will cover all apocalypse-based bets.

So 2012, with a backdrop of "anything could happen", I reckon you will bring us the following events, some serious, others not so.

Prince Philip lights the final 2012 London Olympic torch with a ciggie
Obama looses the 2012 US Presidential election
Italy drops out of the Euro
The NZD is worth more than the USD (at some point)
Wales win the 6 nations
Vancouver Canucks win the Stanley cup for the first time ever
Adam Thompson named captain of the ABs
Kim Kardashian to get pregnant
Justin Bieber to go to rehab
Iphone 5 doesn't get released
Oscar for best Actor, Jean Dujardin (The Artist)
Oscar for best Actress, Rooney Mara (Girl with the Dragon Tattoo)
Nindendo release the Wii-U
The world goes absolutely nuts, but doesn't end on 21 December 2012

* Cockney for Prince Philip. I.e. Phil the Greek ~ Bubble and Squeak. A rhyme is made with the second part of the phrase (Greek - Squeak), and a related phrase is attached. Hence the popular British meal is a perfect Cockney substitute for the name.

The "Greek Mystique" on Ton o Cash.

2011-09-24T16:01:00.000+12:00

Just when you thought reality TV couldn't get any worse after watching 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom - some genius went and dreamed up a show called Ton of Cash.

Basically it's like Survivor - but the contestants are only on the show because they're in a ridiculous amount of debt, and the prize for winning the show is money to pay off that debt.

The best thing about the show is a contestant called the Greek Mystique - a self proclaimed pro arm wrestler and absolute twat. He is a fucking hilarious twat however.

The below clip is his reaction after learning he has been kicked off the show. One of the funniest speeches I have ever seen in my life.

More clips of the GM (including the original animal).

@peace ... the next David Dallas?

2011-09-04T22:13:00.000+12:00

Tom Scott, Lui Tuiasau, El Truento, Dick Darstedly &
B Haru form the hip hop collective known as @Peace.

About two weeks ago I got a FB message from an old mate of mine. He'd stumbled across "this mean new underground rapper" that "no-one had heard of". My mate is usually on the money so I check it out...

And HOLY SHIT. These guys were mean. I reckon I could literally have their debut album (self titled) on repeat all summer...

http://at-peace.bandcamp.com/

The NZ hip hop collective has reviewed these guys:

Tom Scott, Lui Tuiasau, El Truento, Dick Darstedly & B Haru form the hip hop collective known as @Peace. Hailing from Auckland, New Zealand they’ve recently garnered attention from numerous radio stations, DJs, bloggers and opinion leaders at home and abroad with the release of their self-titled debut EP.

The EP offers an intelligent blend of smooth futuristic beats, conscious raps, amazing flows and rhyme ability that reminds of the hey-day of independent rap during the 1990s. The constant soulful hip hop energy of the EP transports postive vibes and a life affirming attitude. You can almost feel that the boys are hailing from the same paradisiac country as Ladi6 or Electric Wire Hustle, whose member Benny Tones was onboard to master the album

Definitely one to watch.

Check out the link if you have a sec, listen to the first couple of tracks. You won't be able to stop.

The 2011 UoA Law Revue... to go viral on youtube?

2011-09-03T13:44:00.003+12:00

Some seriously great bhant has just been posted to Youtube. Two clips - both of which featured in the 2011 University of Auckland Law Revue - are bloody hilarious.

1) Stormtrooper struggles to find his feat after the Deathstar is destroyed. Hits rock bottom, goes to law school, and ends up geting a job at Russell Mac-Daddy. The whole saga is played out to Coldplay's "Fix you". Great bhants.

2) Lonely Island 'Motherlovers' rip about hot mentees at law school...

Actually, just check out all of THEproductions youtube vids. They're gold.

Successful Black Man: the next advice dog?

2011-08-15T22:42:00.000+12:00

Ok wow. I'm in tears. Just stumpled across a genius meme call "Successful Black Man".

Knowyourmeme:

Successful Black Man, also known as “Successful Negro”, is an image macro series featuring a black man dressed in business attire and a witty one-liner satirizing the stereotype of young African American male as street hustlers or gangsters who only care about cars, moneys and hos.

So good.

Enjoy.

Ambush marketing (Yes, this is another RWC related blog post. Get over it.)

2011-08-14T18:55:00.003+12:00

Way back in March 2009, Heineken brand manager Hans Erik Tuijt announced the brewery's "multi-million dollar partnership" with the Rugby World Cup 2011. Despite being in the middle of a global recession, the beer giant threw a fair stack of their chips in and backed the RWC at a time when few others would.

Two and half years latter, with 26 days and 1 hour to go, the build up to the biggest event/party in New Zealand history is reaching fever pitch. Preliminary estimates (made by Auckland Council, so probably very inaccurate) are that approximately 4 billion television viewers will tune into a footy game or three. And every one of them, even the dammed French, will associate Heineken with the experience. Great call Hans.

But Hans, couldn’t the same exposure been achieved without the “multi-millions” …?

Let me school you on the 'Robin Hood' of major event marketing, Ambush Marketing:

"...defined as a marketing strategy wherein the advertisers associate themselves with, and therefore capitalize on, a particular event without paying any sponsorship fee..."

We all remember this little stunt... ambush marketing at it's finest.

What a great idea, Hans. Why would anyone want to fork out "multi-millions" for sponsorship rights when they can just go all “guerrilla on us” and get exposure and association for free with well placed/witty advertising campaigns?

The trouble is, the International Rugby Board knew this would happen. And despite the fact they govern big hairy “gorilla’s”, they don’t act like them. I would safely bet that one of the conditions of granting NZ the rights to host the RWC 2011 was for the NZ Government to tighten up our Fair Trading legislation.

Enter the ambush enforcer... Major Events Management Act 2007.

This brand spanking new piece of legislation hasn't been used to clamp down on 'ambush marketers' - yet. Steinlager's new advertising campaign ("We Believe") is straying dangerously into the sights of the Act. New Zealand Herald has reported on the issue, and how the association Steinlager is making with Rugby/the All Blacks and their product could be deemed a breach of the Act.

The trouble is, anything rugby related right now is synonymous with the RWC/All Blacks - especially if the brand is a Kiwi Brand. Another issue is, say the Ministry of Economic Development (who enforce the MEMA 2007) decided for once to get off their fat arses and take someone to court – the media exposure for Steinlager would only be more free advertising. A win / win for the Stein-grenade.

The irony of course, is that any other situation involving Steinlager will always result in a loose / loose for all those involved. That of course, is if you are actually stupid enough to purchase a can – the taste then the hangover. What an investment.

Anyway, Steinglager is just the tip of the ambush iceburg. It’ve seen many NZ / international companies jumping on the RWC goodwill bus. A couple in particular, I took some snaps of for the blogging public to have a gander at…

P.S. if you seen any more ambush marketing, send it in. They’ll always good for a laugh.

Vogel's billboard #1 - Manukau Road, New Market.

Vogel's billboard #2 - Britomart Train Station

Steinlager Classic billboard #1 - Parnell

Steinlager Classic billboard #2 - Khyber Pass, New Market.

New Zealand Pure billboard #1 - Auckland International Airport.

And this...

Jewellery Store in Onehunga - no subtly whatsoever.

Eden Park: crouch, touch, pause, ENGAGE!

2011-08-07T18:24:00.000+12:00

This contingent of loyal Aussie supporters were far from sportsman-like when they repeatedly refused to partake in the multiple Mexican wave's that thundered around the recently upgraded Eden Park stands.

Every Kiwi loves witnessing Australia get smashed by the AB's, and none more so than the thrashing we dished out last night at the recently upgraded Eden Park. In front of a record crowd of over 55,000, the AB's brought home a victory that undoubtedly proves that the 1.62:1 the TAB are currently paying for them to take home the Webb Ellis Trophy is about as safe as shorting the USD. It's a sure thing.

But would I put money on Eden Park? That is another question.

Having recently undergone a $256 million redevelopment, whether we like it or not, Eden Park has become an international symbol for New Zealand Rugby. While it's not in the spotlight just yet, once the RWC commences, it will be interesting to see how the international community views our stadium as a venue for a large scale sporting event. And from what I experienced last night, it still has a few teething issues.

1) How the f-bomb has Steinlager managed to get exclusive rights to all beer sales at Eden Park bars?? An no, before you ask, it's not Steinlager Pure, it's Steinlager Classic. The Stein-grenade. Infamous for the number of chemicals in it, and equally as infamous for the damage it causes to you head the following morning. Prices for match food are the standard extortionist prices. $7 for beer, $9 for wine, $4.50 for chips.

2) The bars close at about 60 mins in the game. No apparent reason for this?

3) Transport. The NZH have already reported on this. Trains heading in where fine. Trains heading back to Britomart however, were atrocious. See the picture below for the bottle neck that occurred at the miniscule Kingsland train station.

This photo was taken at the front the que after being let through the turnstyle. Only about a third of this crowd would have been able to get onto the next train. There were approximately 30 min waits between trains.

Both train tracks were running to Britomart and empty trains were backed up behind the station ready for the next trip - the delay seemed to stem from getting people actually onto the trains themselves... something that is because of the size of the platform itself.

I'm genuinely surprised there weren't more fights/tramplings.

The train issue is no teething issue, it's just a plain oversight from the organisers. Kingsland is half the size it should be to cater for the numbers spewing forth from Eden Park after a sell out game. And unless alternatives modes of transport are introduced (i.e. free busses) for the RWC, the international community is going to be far from impressed with our ability to host an international sporting event.

Lamepuns

2011-05-26T14:09:00.004+12:00

My new project Lamepuns - now on twitter, facebook and www.lamepuns.com.

So about 6 months ago I was lounging around after dinner engaging in a rather humorous session of bants with my much more intelligent younger brother (Alex) and a certain aspiring blogger, Kazune Obata. The topic of conversation was standard - internet memes. We found no end to the lulz that meme's seemed to provide from such basic premises. Side note, if you have not yet been exposed to the following orginals and subsequent meme-offshoots you are seriously missing out on quality lulz.

Hide your kids hide your wife
Philosoraptor
Any lol-cat series.

Anyway, this particular evening our semi-respectable banta took a dive and we started cracking puns, puns of the lame-est variety. At the peak of this lame-fest, I had an idea. In the space of approximately 3 minutes I had purchased the domain name www.lamepuns.com and started up a twitter account, www.twitter.com/lamepuns.

The idea was simple: create a twitter account that just tweets very, very lamepuns. That would catch. People would follow an account like that. Why would they follow? For a laugh, and although we don't like to admit it, we love a good, wholesome, witty pun from time to time. The 140 character limit on Twitter is perfect for puns. Compared to full blown "jokes", which usually take the form of a novel before they reach a punch-line. But puns set the premise and hit the punch-line in the space of one sentence. Perfect for twitter.

I saw only two problems. Coming up with fresh puns and promotion. I quickly realised that for people to initially follow and continue following the account puns had to be consistently funny and/or witty as hell. It also helps if the puns are topical/based on current events. In last six months, this has been the hardest part of the lamepuns, generating the material. And although I don't like to admit it, and it is somewhat obvious, I have been known to look else where to find material - for instance, lame pun coon/other websites. The second problem was promotion. My first move was to create a website (which is simple, but now live). A website adds an instant air of legitimacy above and beyond just a social networking page. Second, I started targeting my lamepun tweets to people who I thought would re-tweet them. The concept of re-tweeting is simple, if someone sees a tweet they like, they can simply "re-tweet" it to all their followers - thus acknowledging the person/account that originally came up with the tweet. This promotion strategy is quite touch and go, although I have had some success, some lamepuns have been re-tweeted by Fletch n Vaungh (The Edge) and some apparently quite prolific cosmetic dentist in the states.

To date, lamepuns has over 530 followers on Twitter and is growing daily. Just yesterday I started a facebook page for lamepuns.

The goal is to reach 10,000 followers on twitter by the end of the year and have at least one lamepun tweet re-tweeted by Charlie Sheen.

Keep tuned into the blog for progress, and if you think of a pun and want it tweeted, let me know!

A new blog post.

2011-05-23T21:28:00.002+12:00

I've always wanted to blog this photo, but can't think of a backing story that will give it justice.

Ah yes, it has been a while since I last blogged. Why? I don't really know, I guess my focus has shifted somewhat this year. Working in the big smoke will do that to you. It's easy to get sucked into the corporate lifestyle. Recently though, after a few well needed coffee sessions with friends, I got a little perspective and decided to spark the blog back up. I have realised that it is a great way to get your thoughts in order plus I've missed the hate mail. Comments like "Fu*k i hope you die you little pussy bitch!!" provide far to many lulz for me not continue blogging.

Anyway, as a result of those recent coffee sessions, I have myself back on the entrepreneurial horse. Big time on that horse. Now more than ever. The last 6 months have been the first time in also 10 years where I haven't had a "something on the side" i.e. a business. And I realise that there is definitely something missing. Oh and also I finally saw The Social Network. It's one hell of a movie. I highly recommend it.

So in summation, yes, this blog post is quite light. Nothing ground breaking. But expect to hear me harping on about potential business ideas and general thoughts around business on this blog from now on. The blog's days of mindless semi-opinionated dribble are over.

So watch this space.

NB: The above photo was taken by a friend of mine at the Boxing Day Races in Auckland, NZ (2010). I've always wanted to post it with some incredibly fitting analogy about the youth of today, but I don't think I could add anything more to this photo than it already says for itself. A true Kodak moment.

2011: The year of ridiculous number plates?

2011-02-08T21:17:00.001+13:00

Yeah yeah I know that it's been a while since I blogged last. Why? Cos I've been busy. Busy having the time of my life. Thailand was involved. So were a couple of monkey's, and a thing I like to call no-more-university-for-the-rest-of-my-life.

Anyway, lets get down to business. I know that there is only one reason you come to this blog. It's the ridiculous number plate series.

Heres a doozey recently submitted by a reader:

A wild 'Prnsta' appears!

Throw bait or rock? Or take a photo and post online for the lulz?

This is definitely in the top 4 of best submitted plates. It's incredible. Well the car that it's leeching onto is incredible. This gem of a plate, 'Prnsta', (PORNSTAR) is fascinating. The question on my mind, as always, is who the owner is. Are they: a) huge (pun) in the adult film industry, b) an absolute twat with far too much money and a tiny penis; or (and that is one giant or) does the plate say "PRAWNS, TA", and it's owned by a seafood restaurant owner. Its a long shot... but not entirely out of the question.

Who knows. Well apart from the owner, as they will obviously know him/herself. And friends of the owner. And the owners immediate family. Probably work colleagues too. The list goes on. The point is... I'd love to know the back story behind this plate.

So if you own this plate, or know the owner, or have an opinion, feel free to comment, as some have done before, when they discover their number-plate on the inter-webs.

Wikileaks is the best disinfectant.

2010-12-20T16:48:00.005+13:00

Whatever your view, you have to admit that

Wikileaks have a bloody cool logo.

I'm not going to pussyfoot around on this issue. I think that Wikileaks is fantastic. It represents a historic milestone for the free press, questions the duties of mainstream media, and illustrates the ever increasing levels of transparency being demanded of democratic governments.

While the original Wikileaks site has not feared well over the last couple of weeks (the main site appears to be down currently), the anti-establishment core of the movement has inspired many in the blogosphere and other internet circles. Mirror sites ensure that people can visit the site if others are down, and the concept has spawned many copy-cat style sites.

As for the mainstream media, the whole fiasco has been like a giant christmas present come early. Not only are the intimate diplomatic cables providing an endless supply of gossip-style news, but the dubious personal life of the site's 'founder', Julian Assange, has earned him an ass-whipping of the type that Kimbo Slice dishes out.

Governments around the world have responded in a similar manor as though someone had hacked their facebook account. US in particular, have reacted in a very China-like-way to the whole situation:

- U.S. soldiers abroad have been told that they’d be breaking the law if they even read Wikileaks cables. (side not re: US military... check out this video released by Wikileaks, it's of a US Apache helicopter killing civilians in Iraq)
- The Library of Congress has blocked all access to the Wikileaks site.
- Joe Lieberman, chairman of the Senate Homeland Security Committee, has successfully pressured the Wikileaks web hosting company to boot the Site off its servers.

- Visa, Mastercard, and PayPal have stopped processing payments for the site.
- Sarah Palin has demanded that Julian Assange be hunted down like a member of Al Qaeda.

Hmm ok lets go have a browse of first amendment of the US Constitution. Something... something... something... there it is... Freedom of the Press. How curiously paradoxical that in the land of the free, the press are not entirely free. Side note, great article on this argument by Tim Dickinson, a reporter for Rolling Stone. Well worth a read.

Ok so lets get deep-diving on the issue. Why has Wikileaks come about? I think it's because the mainstream media have failed in their basic duties to society. Their primary duty is to broadcast objective, truthful, and well researched news. For the most part (and based on NZ news outlets), the news tends to be fairly objective, mostly truthful, but well researched? Thats a rarity. Especially in the mainstream media.

Recently, I read a refreshing piece on Wikileaks by controversial journalist John Pilger. It's worth noting that he's regarded as a fairly extreme kinda guy. Despite this, he raised valid points. He believes that modern journalists have become to quick in accepting what those who are in perceived positions of authority say, i.e. Governments. His core example is that in the lead up to the 2003 Coalition invasion of Iraq, the press did little to question the justification for war. They just re-printed the 'facts' that were released by Governments, 'facts' that turned out to be untrue:

"(It is) basic rich journalism that is telling people how the world works. It's not just telling them what a prime minister said. It's not framing it in how governments or other vested interests want us to think about something."

He raises a good point. The media should question, expose and shed light, not accept and reprint. This is exactly what Wikileaks has done and it is sad that it has been lambasted for it. The problem is those who have been exposed are the ones with the power to switch the lights off. The irony is however, that in the eyes of many, Wikileaks has become a bit of a martyr for the freedom of the press. It has sparked, or at least fueled, the unstoppable juggernaught that is societies demand for total transparency.

Suck on that Sarah Palin.

Stencil Art.

2010-11-19T17:37:00.004+13:00

Ever since I read Banksy: Wall and Piece I've had a thing for stencil art. Every now and then I do some new art, especially now that the semester has died down a bit.

Here is my latest piece (click to enlarge). It is 40"x 30" x 1" black spray paint + stencil on canvas. Scroll down for how I made it and the story behind it.

How I made it...

Usually when I make these things I just print it out and manually cut the stencil out with a stanley knife. 1) It takes hours and 2) It doesn't always produce the best quality.

So this time I phoned up a couple of Sign writers (cheers Corey down at Smudge Signs) too see if I could make a vinyl cut out of the thing. Best decision of my life.

Here is the process in photos...

The vinyl stencil masked down.

Inside the spray room.

After spraying.

And the finished product is at the top.

The story...

About 6 months ago I did this exact piece for my girlfriend. It was black and white, clean n simple, and based on a piece in an apartment in the TV series Gossip Girl. I've never watched it, but the art is cool.

See it there? Far left. In real life it's actually a light as well.

The piece I did recently is pretty much an exact copy, but I have done it in a different way, plus the font is slightly different (much thinner if you compare both).

If one digs a bit deeper, you'll find that this piece is actually based on another piece of art. And that piece has a way more interesting story.

Prada Marfa is a permanently installed sculpture by artists Elmgreen and Dragset, situated 2.3 km (1.4 miles) northwest of Valentine, Texas, just off U.S. Route 90, and about 60 km (37 miles) northwest of the city of Marfa. The installation was inaugurated on October 1, 2005. The artists called the work a "pop architectural land art project."

The Prada Marfa store in Texas.

Designed to resemble a Prada store, the building is made of "adobe bricks, plaster, paint, glass pane, aluminum frame,MDF, and carpet." The installation's door is nonfunctional. On the front of the structure there are two large windows displaying actual Prada wares, shoes and handbags, picked out and provided by Miuccia Prada herself from the fall/winter 2005 collection; Prada allowed Elmgreen and Dragset to use the Prada trademark for this work. Prada had already collaborated with Elmgreen and Dragset in 2001 when the artists attached signage to the Tanya Bonakdar Gallery in New York City with the (false) message "Opening soon - PRADA". Prada Marfa is located relatively close toDonald Judd's Chinati Foundation. The minimalism of Prada's usual displays that are mimicked in this work play off the minimalism that Judd is known for as an artist. The sculpture was financed by the Art Production Fund (APF) and Ballroom Marfa, a center of contemporary art and culture. Along a ledge that runs around the base of the building, hundreds of people have left business cards, weighed down by small rocks.

So the piece of art is a fictitious sign that is supposed to be around 1837 miles away from the store, directing motorists towards its location. Cool.

My take on Harry Potter 7 P1.

2010-11-19T00:20:00.001+13:00

If you didn't know, Dumbledore died in HP6. Btw. Spoiler alert.

Yeah, I just went to see Harry Potter 7. No biggie. Twas quite a motion picture event, you could say. There may be spoilers in this review, but c'mon, you've read the book so chill.

1) What the hell was with the whole Lord of the Rings thing with the necklace Horcrux?

- It made them angry and tired when they wore it, so they took turns.
- It was on a necklace thing.
- It had to be destroyed.
- They were on a journey to destroy it.
- It was always whispering.
- It almost drowned him like the ring almost drowned Frodo.

When Harry turned to Hermione and said "So how do we destroy it [the Horcrux]?" I half expected the response "We gotta go to Mordor". For about 20 minutes there I was almost convinced that they had swapped film reels.

And if that was the case, let me pose this question: can someone simply apparate into Mordor?

2) Why didn't Harry use the invisibility cloak whilst running from everyone. Not only would this have made things 100 times easier, but also, it re-introduces the plot device of the third Deathly Hallow.

3) The Harry/Hermione ~~porn~~ kiss scene? Wow were did that come from. Naked, pashing, all smokey getting all up in that. I'm surprised that didn't push the rating higher than an M.

4) Outstanding performances from both the wetsuit-looser flat-mate-guy from Notting Hill (Luna's Dad) and Bill Nighy.

Nothing else really. Great film. Can't wait for the next.

Driving the wrong way?

2010-11-15T10:30:00.004+13:00

Recently, I have been working with a local company, A1 Driving School, to help develop their social media presence. The owner, Harald, is from Europe. He is a fairly experienced driver of pretty much all types of vehicle. If you had a gander at his license, you'd notice that he can casually drive anything from the biggest truck you can find to a forklift.

140km speed limit on the A2 in Germany

We've had a couple of chats about the differences in driving standards between NZ and the rest of the world, namely Europe (which, since 2006, have introduced a standard licensing programme across the majority of EU member countries).

The biggest differences are:

- Kiwi kids can get their license at 15, as opposed to 17/18 in most European countries.
- Most countries in Europe require a minimum number of hours (i.e. Minimum of 10 hours in Switzerland) of 'supervised driving' before someone can get the equivalent to a full license.

Interesting. So are Europeans better drivers than us?

In terms of road fatalities, there appears to be little difference. Check out this comparative comparative world map of Age-standardised death rates from Road traffic accidents by country (per 100,000 inhabitants). Interesting. It doesn't reveal any major discrepancies though.

Europe does have have the Autobahn however. What does this mean? In Germany, in some areas, there is no speed limit on it. And in others, 140km/ph is all good apparently. Their Governments must trust them to drive at unlimited speeds for some reason...

Today I read an interesting article by a recently retired 'old school' cop who is unhappy about the NZ's current road policing policy. Among other things he says:

"I just don't see monetary fines or a requirement for every officer to issue, on average, 1500 tickets a year as being enough of a deterrent."

So why do we have to deter bad driving? He thinks more focus needs to be put on changing driver behaviour. Will media campaigns (TV, Radio, Posters etc.) be enough? The NZTA already spend a lot on this, and with questionable results.

Is it not a million times harder to teach an old dog new tricks? Why not teach them when they're young? Perhaps New Zealand should take a leaf out of Europe's book and require that young drivers have a minimum number of hours of supervised driving. While the incentive to complete a defensive driving course (6 months off your restricted) is attractive, perhaps it is not enough.

What do you think?

While you think about it. Keep this in mind. 13 people have died on our roads this weekend.

How to rob a bank.

2010-11-11T16:26:00.004+13:00

Have you ever heard of Anthony Price? Well he (and a mate of his) have recently been dubbed "NZ's dumbest bank robber s" by the New Zealand Herald. This week Prince was released from an American prison after serving a year 4 sentence for stealing US$132,000 from a Bank in Colorado.

What earned them the superlative title of the 'dumbest'? Mainly the crime-scene clues that ultimately lead to their relatively swift capture:

- They were regular customers at the Bank
- Their accents (Kiwi and Australian) made them instantly identifiable to bank staff
- They tried to buy air tickets to Mexico with the stolen cash
- And... they wore name tags from the sports store where they worked.

If Horatio Caine was on the case, he would have been able to solve it quicker than the time it takes for him to take off his glasses and make a cliche pun.

In light of this recent news piece, I thought that I would offer a few tips as to how best to rob a bank. It only really involves two steps.

Step One

Go to Onehunga. Go down to Onehunga Mall Road, and find the "$2" Store (not it's actual name, I don't think it has a street sign name) opposite the Dick Smith Electronics and just a bit down from the United Video, near the round about. Walk through the door of this exotic establishment. And you shall find... this:

I didn't realise that Onehunga was actually the Bakaara Market?

And this:

Makes James Bond's lair look like a scene from the Teletubbies.

I am fully aware that step one involves like 5 steps, but roll with it. Next, purchase one of these 1:1 semi-automatic gun replica's for approximately $90.

Step 2

Go stick up one of several nearby banks in Onehunga, get tasered/shot in the leg by Police as the arrive within seconds (a Police station is within spitting distance of all these Banks), enjoy about one hour of fame on the NZH/Stuff.co.nz websites, and spend the next 5 years with all your mail redirected to a certain address in Rimutaka.

If you missed my point, back track and read step 1 again.

The 1:1 replica semi-automatic guns for next to nothing at a $2 shop. WHAT. How is this legal? Ok and get ready for this - this shop is within 50 meters of a Primary School. Kids spend every morning before school, and a large amount of time after school wandering up and down Onehunga Mall. One of the first shops on their 'wander' is this one. What kind of message does that send to kids between the ages of 5 - 10?

And seriously. If someone rolled into a bank waving one of these things around screaming, and with a balaclava on you'd freak. anyone would. The police would probably shoot on site if someone with one of these refused to put it down. They have a unbelievably legitimate aesthetic appearance.

UNBELIEVABLE.

I guess thats Onehunga for ya.

(Disclosure - I live in Onehunga)

California, marijuana & de-criminalization.

2010-11-03T22:58:00.009+13:00

Humour: This picture could be
interpreted as conveying it.

Winston Churchill, Prince Charles, George Bush, William 'Bill' Shakespeare, Richard Branson, Nancy Pelosi. What have all these famous people, arguably great role models - bar Prince Charles, have in common? They've all admitted to smoking marijuana. BAM! That got your attention. But be honest, you're probably not that surprised. What if I was to add one more name to that list... Snoop Dogg. Wow. Didn't expect that did you.

What kind of message does that send young kids who study the works of Shakespeare at High School? The only way you're going to create and execute such perfect verse in iambic pentameter is if you're more baked than a potato in the oven on 420 degrees (intentional pun)?

Ok i'm getting side tracked.

What is this post all about you may ask? This post is all about the apparently progressive stance the California has with respect to the legality of 'weed'. From what I gather, and that isn't much mind you, if things continue along the trend they are currently heading, spliff could be legal in Cali in the next couple of years. What would that mean? Would other states follow suit? Would other countries follow suit?

First a bit of history and context as to the world's changing perception (maybe) towards marijuana, and how Cali fits into all that. Cali was the first state to legalize the production and consumption of 'medical' marijuana in 1996. Since then 13 states have done the same, with many more seriously considering it. Worldwide, it is no secret that many jurisdictions are taking an increasingly liberal stance towards towards marijuana. For instance the we all know about Amsterdam. And apparently in some parts of Australia marijuana is decriminalized in certain quantities? In the Australian Capital Territory, South Australia, Western Australia and the Northern Territory there are differing degrees of decriminalization for minor offenses. Thats could explain a lot re: Crocodile Dundee.

Ok, so how realistic is the decriminalization of marijuana in Cali?

There are currently two lobby efforts underway.

One is a bill wending its way through the state legislature that would essentially treat marijuana like alcohol, making it legal for people aged 21 and over. Sponsored by Tom Ammiano, a flamboyant gay activist and assemblyman from San Francisco, it would levy a $50 excise tax on every ounce produced and a sales tax on top, then use those funds for drug education. A rival bill would de-penalise (as opposed to legalise) marijuana, so that getting caught with it would be no worse than receiving a parking ticket.

Interesting. I get the idea that this is more of a publicity stunt. This sounds a bit more ... organised.

The more visible effort is a measure, Proposition 19, which will be put directly to voters on the November ballot. This so-called Regulate, Control, and Tax Cannabis Act of 2010, sponsored by the founder of Oaksterdam University, would also legalise the growing, selling and smoking of marijuana for those older than 21, within certain limits. But it would leave the regulation and taxation entirely up to counties and cities. These could choose to ban the business or to tax it at whatever rate they pleased.

Supporters of the Proposition 19 have received funding from many sources, most notably, a founder of Facebook.com and George Soros. It's up against some stiff Republican competition however. The Tea Party, no doubt, hold similar views. Apparently it has failed? Wiki can be unreliable sometimes.

But what do the public think? Heres an interesting graph.

Just can't trust those
young, white, male, democrats...

Other debatable issues include possible avenues for extra excise tax revenue, and whether the prohibition is contradiction of the Bill of Rights and Constitution i.e. individual freedoms etc etc ra ra ra.

More importantly, any legalization would contradict loads of international treaties and would be an absolute 'mare for customs.

This issue poses a tough question: is something ok just because 'everyone' does it? Definitely not. There is plenty of evidence to support the view that using cannabis has very negative long term health effects. There is the counter argument that this damage is potentially the lesser when compared to legal substances such as alcohol. But that still doesn't make it ok.

What do you think?

Why Twitter is better than Facebook for Businesses.

2010-10-29T22:23:00.000+13:00

Twitter... it definitely is a different beast when compared to Facebook.

I'm an avid user of online social networking sites. Facebook, Twitter, Blogger, Youtube - you name it I have it. Until recently, my primary platform for online social networking has been based heavily around my Facebook account, however recently, I have started using others such as Twitter and Blogger.

For me, Facebook is great for one thing: keeping in touch with friends. Friends you have in real life. While some - namely event promoters/DJ - are able to befriend more people than they know in their 'real life' social network, most Facebook users, driven primarily by stories of identity theft and cyber-pedophiles, have locked up public access to their accounts to all but those who they know personally.

Characteristics of Facebook accounts:

- Private by default
- Organised around personal relationships and two-way 'friend' connections
- Personal Networks limited to 5000

This model obviously encourages individuals to use the site. However Facebook does not encourage users to make extensions to their social network purely over the internet. If someone meets someone in real life they are more likely to 'add' them as a friend, but not randomly, without a reason too. Why? Who knows. You might get rejected. You appear like a werido. You don't want your employer to see photos of you in the gutter on a saturday night etc.

But what about businesses? They don't personally know their customers, so how can they use Facebook? Well they could make a personal account and add 'friends' like actual people. This is rare. It is potentially effective for small businesses that are based around the founders utilizing their personal friends to promote the business. However, it is more likely that a business will use the Facebook platform Pages to have a social networking presence. These pages are based on "Likes"... essentially a one-way 'follower' relationship with that page. Wow that sounds like Twitter. An add-on for Facebook.

Twitter definitely hasn't taken off in New Zealand. My opinion is that it will, one day, probably sooner rather than later, like it has in the States and Europe. My understanding is that Twitter was originally intended for individuals. But the biggest thing I noticed immediately was the number of accounts that were organisation and businesses. Why is this? Simple. The access Twitter facilitates to "new" networks. The theory is that these new networks will convert into sales leads. And yeah, it works.

Characteristics of Twitter:

- Public by default (you can "lock" your tweets)
- Organised around shares interests and topics, not personal friendships
- One-way follower model
- Aspirational: not who you were in the past or even who you are, but who you want to be

Can you spot the fundamental difference, and huge advantage, Twitter has over Facebook for Businesses? It connects strangers. It promotes the extension of networks around common interests not personal relationships. Genius.

The irony is, however, that to promote your business Twitter account, you will find that you will have to add people or run promotions through the account to attract initial "followers" - from there it should gradually grow organically.

If you have a business, I highly recommend you get yourself a Twitter account. Its free easy and highly valuable. Do it.

For more info and more in-depth analysis, check out this article from TechCrunch.

Tea Party Horrors.

2010-10-24T13:28:00.005+13:00

We should be very afraid of Sarah Palin.

Like Korey, I am have recently become aware, and quite concerned about the situation that is playing out in the Land of the Free. The ‘Tea Party’ Movement, with Sarah Palin leading the charge, is sweeping across America like Hurricane Katrina. While the damage may not be as immediate, it will definitely be as severe.

From my rather basic perspective, it appears the Republican Party has a huge, rather ironic, trump card in the propaganda war: the economy. Obama went in on the promise that he could make everything right again. However, things aren’t looking so flash, so lets blame Pelosi and Obama right? But who made things wrong in the first place? Bush…? It was always going to take more than 3 years fix the US economy.

I am concerned about two things. 1) the influence of the rich, purely because they’re rich, and 2) the value system upon which American is based.

Firstly, the influence of the rich. It is always going to be pretty unavoidable, and ironic, considering that the US purports to be a “democratic” society. The clincher is obvious, while people have the right to make their own decisions, all the rich have to do is influence the things they make their decisions on. Enter a well oiled, Republican propaganda machine that can turn anyone into public enemy number one.

My second concern is about the value system underlying the American Dream. Capitalism/individualism is both a blessing and a curse. Go read the Great Gatsby. While it has propelled the States to the ‘top’ (economy, military, socially) in a relatively short period of time, it is destined to all come crashing down eventually. Why? Because capitalism is all about growth. Fast growth. As fast as possible growth. And in most cases, debt fuelled growth. What’s wrong with that? We simply have limited resources. Sure, technology will reduce our impact on the environment but fundamentally, something cannot keep growing. It will eventually end.

The Bush Government made things grow fast – but we all saw what happens when growth is just all debt, it implodes. Is this what we can expect from the next Republican Government if they are to be re-elected?

US Mid-Term Elections! Why we should care... a little

2010-10-21T11:15:00.004+13:00

Well! US Mid-Term elections are on their way, and political junkies in the US are either full of excitement (if they're a Republican), or praying a miracle occurs (if they're a Democrat). The fact is the Democratic Party, of which Obama is a part of, it going to get destroyed come Nov. 2nd. The massive majorities they have in the House and relatively large majority in the Senate are set to be either lost completely or greatly minimized.

So why is this happening? The most obvious cause is the phenomenon called the "Tea Party". The Tea Party is mainly a group of deeply conservative voters who are disgusted with Obama, and the laws Congress have passed. The feel that the US is turning into a communist-socialist country, with Obama literally stealing their freedoms, and enslaving their children to a life of debt. These people are energized, motivated and mostly, as far as I can tell, somewhat devoid of reality. Yes, they may have legitimate concerns with the debt of the US, as do most people, but to believe that they are becoming less free by a secret Muslim-Kenyan President (part of a new world order conspiracy), is in one word nuts.

However, whether the basis for them voting is sane or not, the fact is they going to. But why should you care? You should care because love 'em or hate 'em, what the US does affects all of us around the world.

Policies they support include (but are not limited too):
take no action on Climate Change, they want to stop all stimulus spending, they want to take a harsher stance towards North Korea and Iran (including possible military action), they want to abolish the US Education Department, and Environmental Protection Agency, they want to make abortion illegal, they do not want the Islamic Community Centre built in NY, they want to extend all the Bush Tax Cuts which will blow out the deficit even more (while saying they want to reduce it) and to top it off, want to repeal just about every piece of legislation passed the past 2 years.

Now I'm not saying that every Tea Partier wants to do every one of these, but all in all, the average one does want to do most. Think of the ramifications for the world economy if the US recovery became even weaker due to their economic policies. Think about the prospects of a global climate pact, if the US doesn't even try to get something done. Think about how not building the Islamic Centre will act as a great recruiting tool in radicalizing people. I can go on forever...

So come Nov. 2nd, the direction the US Congress and Executive takes is going to be very different compared to what was promised in '08. Even if the Democrats can stop the haemorrhaging of seats, the Tea Party/Republican wave will still be too strong. I for one hope that the Tea Party doesn't gain too much strength; that would be a scary world to live in. But what do you think? Does this make you look upon these elections in any different light, or do you think people just need to chill out a bit? I'd love to know what you think.

What is this... a school for ants??

2010-10-16T10:30:00.000+13:00

"You can't be serious!? So this is the Owen G Glenn Business School for Children Who Can't Do Business Well? It has to be at least 3 times that size. How can you teach children to do business if they can't fit in the building?"

- Owen G Glenn, when first shown this model (1:100 scale) of the proposed business school.

Keep calm and.... HIDE YA KIDS HIDE YA WIFE!

2010-10-14T09:42:00.006+13:00

If you haven't seen the internet meme "Hide ya kids hide ya wife" you're missing out on some serious LULZ.

Brief synopsis:

About

Kevin Antoine Dodson is a Huntsville, Alabama resident recently interviewed by NBC affiliate WAFF-48 News in a news clip about the local police searching for a man who broke into the Dodsons’ home and then tried to assault one of his sisters in bed.

Origin

On July 28th, 2010, North Alabama’s NBC affiliate WAFF-48 News reported that local police are searching for a man who broke into a home then got into bed with a woman. According to the news story, that Wednesday morning, Kelly Dodson woke up to an intruder in her bed. The woman’s brother, Antoine Dodson, rushed to her room after hearing his sister scream. After a brief struggle, the intruder escaped through a window. Antoine said the suspect left behind his shirt and fingerprints.

WAFF-48 sent a correspondent to speak with the victims, which resulted in the following report:

Click here for it.

The clip has spawned a huge internet following... remixes ft. Haley Williams and Orchestra covers etc. Youtube it.

Anyway.

I've mashed it with the famous "keep calm and carry on" poster...

Keep Calm and Carry On.

Keep Calm and Carry On was a poster produced by the British government in 1939 during the beginning of World War II, to raise the morale of the British public in the case of invasion. It was little known and never used. The poster was rediscovered in 2000 and has been re-issued by a number of private sector companies, and used as the decorative theme for a range of other products.

So when you combine that... with Antoine Dodson... you get this!

Keep Calm and Carry On. Yeah right. Keep Calm and Hide Ya Kids Hide Ya Wife.

craaack up as bro.

When did Trademe turn into a barter system?

2010-10-12T18:17:00.001+13:00

Just received the best email from someone enquiring about an auction I'm running on TradeMe at the moment.

I'm selling my 7"x4" trailer. Shameless pug, click here to check out the auction.

This is a bargain.

I'm asking $900.

Anyway. Today I get an email from a TM user (who shall remain anonymous...) who enquired:

hi swap my 18'rims plus a hundred cash your way, cheers

What the hell man. 18" rims? You can't be serious. O but he is. If only I could tell you the user name.. it screams "rim trader".

In the pursuit of further LULZ, I checked out his rims.

Mean rims, bro. BTW check out my mean photoshop blurring skills (bottom right)

The sales pitch is all class and sophistication:

4xmean alloy wheels,215x35x18, 2xhave near new tyres, other 2 bout 60%tread with slight camber wear, missing one centre piece, 1xrim has dent as pictured didnt effect driving condition came off a toyota scepter which is 5x114.3, but these are multi 5 stud, wanna know if theyl fit your car bring it over

He's asking $700 (buy now is $800), so when you add in the offer of the Rutherford... I guess in terms of money value.. it's legit. This is a Rutherford for those who do not know. It is the NZ version of a Benjamin.

A "Rutherford"

Since when was it all good to even think about bartering on TradeMe?

Perhaps TradeMe should capitalise on the trend, if it is indeed trending, and open an option to put an item up for barter.

I think i'll decline the offer.

On to the next one.

2010-10-11T17:10:00.000+13:00

Recently I put my lawn mowing round up for sale. To be honest, I was quite surprised at the amount of interest there was in a small run like mine, anyway, I found a buyer and all has worked out. Thus far.

I am currently business-less and I don't like it. So I'm on the hunt for the next one. I'd quite like to go for a more user driven/web-based profit model this time... and I have a few basic ideas.

Watch this space.

What I am very interested in the eminent arrival of HMTL5 as the new standard for structuring and coding websites. The new standard incorporates features like video playback and drag-and-drop that have been previously dependent on third-party browser plug-ins such as Adobe Flash and Microsoft Silverlight.

It appears that it will be operational after 2012. Ages away.

Ridiculous number plate series: reader submitted photos

2010-10-09T11:56:00.002+13:00

Recently I've had a couple of emails from readers who have taken photos of ridiculous number plates they wish to share and shame in the intra-web.

As usual, they highlight whether the person who OK's these plates at the NZTA actually has a brain/morals.

Hmmm.

This van is obviously owned by the Dilma Tea dude.

Wow.

Wholesome.

It appears that this truck is on blocks...

The ridiculous number plates series: Part V

2010-10-08T18:06:00.000+13:00

This is unbelievable.

I straight up cannot believe that this number plate was allowed to be made.

I refuse to re-produce what the colloquial term "Bukake" means in Western countries. A definition can be found here on Wikipedia. P.S. don't click the link if you are a) offended easily or b) under 18.

Urban Dictionary, of all places, provides a more "traditional" Japanese perspective of the term, quite informative really:

The urban myth purports that the practice originated in feudal Japan as a method of punishing women who had committed adultery. However, this is not true as the source is the imagination of the writer of a certain adult website who concocted the story to entice readers to subscribe Bukkake is the noun form of the Japanese verb bukkakeru to dash water), and means simply "splash" or "dash." The compound verb can be decomposed into two verbs: butsu and kakeru . Butsu literally means to hit, but in this usage it appears to be an intensive prefix as in buttamageru, "completely astonished") or butchigiri , "overwhelming win"). Kakeru in this context means to shower or pour. The word bukkake is often used in Japanese to describe pouring out water (or other liquids) with sufficient momentum to cause splashing. Indeed, bukkake is more commonly used in Japan to describe a type of dish where the toppings are poured on top of noodles, as in bukkake-udon and bukkake-soba.

Interesting. Interesting that the number plate is on a van has the visual appearance of one that would be owned by a pedophile.

My thoughts on Paul Henry.

2010-10-06T10:34:00.002+13:00

Paul Henry definitely knows how to cause a stir.

Everyone knows what Paul Henry said two days ago.

...he asked Prime Minister John Key if Governor-General Anand Satyanand was "even a New Zealander", then urged him to choose a successor who "looks and sounds more like a New Zealander".

TVNZ initially "supported" Henry, and is also facing criticism:

[TVNZ] spokeswoman Andi Brotherston defended Henry, saying he often said what "we quietly think but are scared to say out loud"

Henry has publicly apologised on-air:

"I am sincerely sorry if I seemed disrespectful to him (Sir Anand), that was not what I intended and I certainly didn't intend to sound racist. It was wrong for me to ask the questions that I did.

TVNZ has since suspended Henry for two weeks w/out pay, the equivalent to an $8000 fine. apparently.

There is no denying that the comments Henry made conveyed racist tones. And how can there be tolerance for something like that? There can't. Especially for someone in his position.

What does piss me off is how easy it is for everyone to argue about how Paul Henry deserves to be sacked. Is that the appropriate punishment? If a "no-tolerance" stance means the sack, and this logic is applied to Paul Henry, then it should apply to everyone who crossed the line in similar circumstances, right? And if that is not the case, there should be consideration for the circumstances.

It seems that in New Zealand, the term "no tolerance" is thrown about in the heat of the moment, but rarely applied in all situations when it comes to disciplining those who cross the line.

Politicians can get away (without getting the sack) for making racist remarks without getting sacked. See Hone Harawira:

Mr Harawira got into trouble with his party because of an unauthorised trip to Paris while on a parliamentary visit to Brussels and his racially abusive email in defence of it which referred to white people as "motherf...ers".

Hone apologised, and the PM only required him to "mean what he said".

It also seems ok for public officials to have a punch-up in parliment, while the government spends hundreds of thousands on advertising campaigns to prevent domestic violence:

The prosecution relates to the parliamentary bust-up in which the Cabinet Minister threw a punch at National MP Tau Henare in October after comments about his personal life.

Why is Mallard still around? Does that mean those who set the laws for this country have a tolerance for violence?

Tony Veitch got the sack, but now he's back on-air apparently.What does that say about "zero tolerance"?

And how about an international example - Chris Brown. He's back singing/rapping songs, so was that "zero tolerance"? He got his punishment. But does that mean he can't do what he does? It's now up to us as to whether we listen to him. He sells records so his label keep him on, why can this logic not apply to Henry and TVNZ? If you don't like him, simply don't listen/watch.

Cactus Kate's blog puts forward an interesting argument on the matter of punishing politicians, broadcasters and public officials when they "cross the line" with comments. She argues that Henry is the victim of "the white middle-class male bashing machine that exists so prevalently in New Zealand." I can see her point. People like Rodney Hide don't make things any easier, as he has become a bit of a poster-boy for the white-middle class in NZ.

I'm not denying what Henry said was racist. He deserves the appropriate punishment.

But the question is what is the appropriate punishment considering the crime. I hope the whole affair gives New Zealand a chance to look at what is "the line" with regard to what is inappropriate.

Dude... where did I park my MiG-21 MF 1973 Mikoyan-Gurevich Fighter Jet?

2010-10-05T10:03:00.002+13:00

Remember a while back someone was selling an ex-fighter jet on Trademe? It sold for $20,300 for something. Anyway... what does one do once they buy a MiG-21 MF 1973 Mikoyan-Gurevich Fighter Jet?

Well it's currently chillun in down town Onehunga.

Nice ride bro.

What I didn't realise is that this thing is pretty much a missile with a person strapped to it. The engine is at the front. Wicked.

Flag flying this thing. Actually, flag operating anything military related that comes out of Soviet Era Russia.

What the hell do you do with a $20,300 MiG-21 MF 1973 Mikoyan-Gurevich Fighter Jet!!??

Selling a lawn mowing round for dummies

2010-10-05T07:58:00.001+13:00

In my first year of University I started mowing lawns for a couple regulars at a Cafe I used to work at. I'd usually start with the line... "so would you like your lawns mown with that Coffee?". Lulz ensued, sometimes. And yeah, it worked 9 times out of 10. Over time I built up a few core clients and I've kept going throughout my time at Uni.

The whole experience has taught me more about business than business school, and has funded my escapades.

Anyway, at the end of this year it's all going to end. I'm moving on. I've got a job in the city, traveling to Thailand over the summer, and need to pass on the round to another chappy.

I am faced with a dilemma: how do you value, market and sell a lawn mowing round?

I've learnt the following things.

1) The lawn mowing market is full of owner-operators who have been in the game for far to long. Some own franchises and some don't, probably because they can't afford too. Thus the majority of people won't want to buy equipment as they already have their own - they only want to buy lawns.

2) Selling the lawns only is an interesting concept. They are of course, highly intangible assets. So how does one put a value on each one/all of them collectively?

Here are the options I have heard about:

a) Total gross revenue from one round x 7. This multiplier effect is quite effective, but could potentially undervalue the lawns. This means each lawn only has to be mown 7 - 9 times before at investment turns a profit for the purchaser.

b) Annual gross revenue (actual or estimate) x 2/3 or 1/2. This method runs on the simple logic that if you buy these lawns, it will take you half a year to pay them off. Not bad huh? Especially considering that if you know your stuff, you should be able to keep a client for way longer than a year.

c) Comparative analysis. I crunched the numbers and worked out that if you buy a franchise, you're effectively paying $235 per lawn, assuming each lawn generates an average of $30 per mow. This method will probably produce a much lower value that the other two.

3) What are good points to 'stress' when selling a lawn? The following are what people want in a lawn mowing round.

Well established cliental (1 – 2 yr average)
Accounts paid within a month (preferably cash on the spot, but this is rare)
Close geographical area
All lawns are mulch
Most lawns are mown fortnightly, some weekly (especially in summer)
Flexibility with clients

So if you can sell your round to sound like this, it'll be money in the bank.

4) As for marketing, local online trading sites are fine. Obviously ask around first, see if any of your friends or family know anyone - but its always best to keep business and friends separate.

An investment opportunity in Cote d'Ivoire? Im there.

2010-10-02T19:23:00.003+13:00

I just received the following email. It's pure gold.

Dear Beloved,

I am Cynthia, 19 years the only daughter and the only child of my late parents Mr. Michael and Mrs.Veronica. My father was a highly reputable business man-(a cocoa merchant) who operated in the Cote d'Ivoire during his days.It is sad to say that he passed away mysteriously in France during one of his business trips abroad year.

Though his sudden death was linked or rather suspected to have been masterminded by an uncle of his who travelled with him at that time. My mother died when I was just 4 years old, and since then my father took me so special. Before his death he told me that he has the sum (USD$17 000 000) left in a bank here in Cote d'Ivoire.

I am just 19 years old and really don't know what to do. so, I am in a sincere desire of your humble assistance in this regards to help me claim and invest the money in your country and also help me to come over to your country to further my education while you invest and manage the money. Your suggestions and ideas will be highly regarded. I will like that you keep this transaction confidential for the security of the money. Now permit me to ask these few questions:-

1. Can I completely trust you?
2. Can you be able to keep this transaction confidential for the security of the money?
3. What percentage of the total amount in question will be good for you? Consider this and get back to me

Thank you so much.
My sincere regards,
Cynthia Michael

First of all, this isn't your typical scam-email.

It's not directly asking for my account details or anything. I think they think that by being 'subtle', someone will reply with confidential info i.e. a credit card or password details so as to 'transfer' the money to NZ.

It would be interesting to see whether or not this would fall under anti-phishing laws. Probably.

...perhaps it's legit?

the sending email is "urgent101@cantv.ne"... ".ne" is the internet country code for Niger. So legit.

Growth, Credit and human nature.

2010-10-01T21:49:00.001+13:00

Is it possible to live within our means, or would that mean going against human nature?

I just had an interesting conversation with my dad about his views on the direction that the world is currently heading with the values it currently holds. Central to his argument is that existence of credit, and the practice of selling money (usery), will be the undoing of our society. He believes that the only way for our society to be sustainable in the long term, is if we have a fundamental value shift towards one where we are content to live only within our means, consuming at a level that matches our productivity.

Idealistic? Sure. A new concept? No. Heard of your ecological footprint?

We agreed that fundamental to the human psyche is the inherent desire for a 'better state'. This is arguably the basis for the concept of economic growth. To generalise, in western societies a 'better state' tends to be more material belongings (buying that hummer, for instance). In some eastern societies, material betterment may not be the primary goal. Buddhists for example, would believe that a 'better state' is a step wards enlightenment. But fundamentally, all humans want to be better in some form or anther. Our discussion was centred around the western view of a 'better state'.

Material growth is inherently unsustainable (earth has only x amount of space), and credit, to put it crudely, is like steroids for growth. It means that things happen fast than they would otherwise. For example, right now I cannot afford to build a Hotel in downtown Auckland. However, if I knew the right people, whipped up a powerpoint presentation and shook a few hands, I might be able to find people who did have the money, who were willing to give me that money to do the project. Say everything goes well. The sub contractors don't screw me and the IRD don't sting me. I get lots of money, the investors get lots of money and the economy is better off because there is now a hotel employing more people.

But what if I can't pay that all back? Everyone looses.

So what's the point? The paradox of growth. On one hand it will always be there - it is in our nature to want a better state. But on the other hand however, growth will mean that one day it will be impossible for us to have a better state, as over consumption (financially, and then ecologically) will put severe limits on the choices and opportunities we (our grand-grand-grand children) have in the future. Thus growth will not be possible, at least not in the material nature that we currently value. Credit is only taking us to that point faster. And for what? So we, now, can enjoy life more?

Can anything stop the inevitable? Well my dad thinks that living within our means will stop this. This would mean a society exists were credit is not allowed or necessary. Sounds like communism if you ask me.

New Blog Art & The Office (US).

2010-09-30T16:13:00.000+13:00

Im a fan of The Office (UK). Ricky Gervias is a genius. And nothing beats the scene where Gareth attempts to harmonise with David (when he is singing "Free Love Freeway") at the team workshop day. Pure comedic gold.

But i'm also a huge fan of The Office (US). And I find a lot of people love to bag the US version of the Office, often without giving it a chance. Gervias, of course, is the executive producer of the American adaptation, and admitted before the airing of the pilot that there were feelings of hesitation from certain viewers.

Season one and two received fairly av. ratings.

However, the show only gets funnier. Now in it's seventh season, it has received accolades and awards from all corners of the entertainment industry. The Onion's AV Club commented:

After a rocky start, The Office improved immeasurably, instantly becoming one of TV's funniest, sharpest shows. The casting of Steve Carell in the Gervais role proved to be a masterstroke. The American Office is that rarest of anomalies: a remake of a classic show that both does right by its source and carves out its own strong identity.

Mint.

Anyway. How I have come to change my Blog artwork title. I was watching season two of The Office (US) and on of the main characters, Jim (the equivalent to Tim in the UK version) has this piece of art above his bed. Its wicked. Hence my new blog art - for now....

Slightly modified.

Sevens Scalpers, you're not cool.

2010-09-28T20:59:00.001+13:00

O wrong picture.

Today NZI seven's tickets went on sale @ 9am. They sold out in three minutes. casual.

At 9.20am a couple of new Trademe listings were posted. People scapling tickets. It was always going to happen, and its not cool. A hell of a lot of people missed out, genuine rugby fans too, and now they're either not going or will have too fork out millions to go.

Here are a couple of auctions.

1) http://www.trademe.co.nz/Travel-events-activities/Event-tickets/Sports/auction-320843250.htm

This one is gold. Bids reached $500 before someone jumps in and places a $5000 bid with a newly created account. Awesome payback. The awesome thing is, they're going to have to pay the "success fee" on that one. Nice. There are also 10 unanswered questions. Interesting.

2) http://www.trademe.co.nz/Travel-events-activities/Event-tickets/Sports/auction-320849181.htm

The same thing happened to this auction. $5000 bid. Good work.

3) http://www.trademe.co.nz/Travel-events-activities/Event-tickets/Sports/auction-320903835.htm

This is awesome. People venting under the comments. Jossjeff1 posted:

Didn't take you long to get your profit making adventure up and running ? If were only interested in recovering your cost, you would have a buy now price for what you paid.

Good call. Mat313 (seller) responds:

I have broke even not made money, honest coincidence that my mate also got tickets. I will still be going to the sevens.

Bullshit.

4) http://www.trademe.co.nz/Sports/Rugby-league/Other/auction-320826080.htm

This one someone has 'packaged' four tickets up with accom for the weekend. Apparently the tickets + accom were purchased at a school fund raiser. My sources tell me that these tickets + accom typcially sold for around $600. The auction price is $2500 so this checks out. But why but tickets for charity if you're just going to sell them for the money you gave? Interesting. A commenter, nickydoo, has called them on it:

Wow you bought them at a fundraiser and put them on TradeMe 20 mins afta they went on sale, cos that sounds legit.

And the response from elite20, the seller:

If you have kids and go to school fundraising evenings you would understand. You do end up buying stuff often you do not want. No one was bidding for them, it was to fundraise to get the polo team to Aussie - so I helped out, legit sale at below cost.

Marginal, to say the least.

Scalping, its not cool bro.

BDO: actual line-up v rumours

2010-09-28T10:56:00.017+13:00

Its a 'big' day today for a couple of reasons. Namely, the first BDO 2011 line-up has been announced. And NZI sevens tickets went on sale.

This morning I wandered into the kitchen and my brother starts rattling off the headline acts, and initially, I was a tad disappointed. Tool, Rammstein and Stooges headlining. I'm aware that they're fairly popular, but they're not my cup'o tea. But then you look closer i.e. further down the list. And it's actually not that bad... But hey, what happened to the rumours? This always happens for BDO. Pre-announcement rumours get everyone excited, but are rarely true.

I've been to multiple BDO's and the biggest acts aren't always the best, although from a promoters point of view, they're pretty key.

Big acts rumoured to play in 2011...

Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Blink 182
Kings of Leon
Eminem
Gorillaz
Soundgarden
Stone Temple Pilots
Cut Copy
The Temper Trap
MGMT
Fatboy Slim
Arcade Fire

... to name a few.

The Blink rumour was fuelled when Channel V host Danny Clayton 'accidentally' tweeted:

Blink 182 are playing at Big Day Out. This is going to be the best BDO since 2000.

Followed by...

...turns out I wasn't supposed to mention anything about Blink 182. Let's forget this ever happened.

Ok cheers bro. Thanks for getting my hope up.

Also confusingly, In June, BDO organisers tweeted this ambiguous message...

Daft Punk, Kings of Leon, Art vs. Science, Bloody Beetroots, Dizzee Rascal, Crookers, La Roux, Deadmau5, LMFAO, The Butterfly Effect - Like?

Well obviously I like. If it were true.

According to tonedeaf.com.au (who are fairly dedicated to BDO rumours)...

We can now say that with some arm twisting we’ve managed to find a leak straight from the source, the Big Day Out office. We’re prepared to say that Soundgarden will headline Big Day Out 2011 playing on the blue stage. Kings Of Leon will be the orange stage headliner. Stone Temple Pilots will also appear, as supports for Soundgarden on the blue stage.

What happened here? Kings of Leon haven't been announced at of the Australian gigs, and obviously not NZ. Soundgarden aren't playing either. Not that fussed.

This is only the first announcement. There will be another. But history shows that the big names are usually announced in the first one.

Big Day Out 2011

Date: Friday, 21st January 2011Tickets on sale: Friday 8th October 2010

Price: Auckland: NZ$150 (inc gst) +booking fee.

Line up (first annoucement)

Tool
Rammstein
MIA
Iggy and the Stooges
LCD Soundsystem
Shihad (playing The General Electric)
Lupe Fiasco
Grinderman
Deftones
The Black Keys
The Naked and Famous
Andrew WK
Wolfmother
The Jim Jones Revue
Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
Primal Scream (playing Screamadelica)
Bloody Beetroots Death Crew 77
Booka Shade
Six60
Die Antwoord
Vitalic
Kids of 88
CSS
Plan B
Ratatat
I Am Giant
John Butler Trio
Airbourne
Die!Die!Die!
Bulletproof
Birds of Tokyo
Street Chant
Crystal Castles

Lovenish: a fan photo.

2010-09-27T08:10:00.003+13:00

Lovenish is workin' that till, and being patient with drunken students.
A skill that takes years to master.

A about a week ago I posted an article about Lovenish, the emerging Auckland town icon. He works the night shift at Queen St. BK (Opposite Shortland St.) Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday nights. What a champion.

Recent, I received a reader submitted pic of this emerging legend in action. Please see above.

I encourage you to have a chat to him next time you see him, ask about his visa application, and generally encourage him with his endeavors.

I will continue to follow Lovenesh's story, watch this space for an interview.

Colin Craig, Me and... Simon Prast?

2010-09-25T12:13:00.000+12:00

Simon Prast really wasn't feeling this photo opportunity. And I'm not a ranga, despite what this photo suggests.

I was at the Auckland Uni mayoral debate the other day and started talking to Colin Craig and Simon Prast. I asked if I could have a photo with them both, and Colin was all over it. Simon wasn't so keen. As you can see from the photo.

History and Nature of Ponzi Schemes

2010-09-24T07:14:00.000+12:00

Charles Ponzi - the original tricker and swindler.
This post is another excerpt from my paper on Ponzi schemes at the begining of the year. It outlines certain characteristics that Ponzi schemes tend to have.

Charles Ponzi

Charles Ponzi will forever be a name synonymous with one of the most well known investment frauds of all time. His legacy is a testament to the scale, yet simplistic methods employed to scam millions of dollars out of investors for months - ultimately ending in disaster for both Ponzi and his investors. Ponzi’s investment scheme operated like this: investors were promised fifty per cent interest on their principle in forty-five days. In exchange for their initial investment, investors received a promissory note that was redeemable at his securities exchange company or any bank.[1] However, the crux of the fraud lies in the fact that none of the money given to Ponzi was legitimately invested at all. Money from new investors was used to pay off existing investors, giving the impression of a booming business. Essentially, he was ‘robbing Peter to pay Paul’ and it is this unsustainable model of investment fraud that will forever be known as a Ponzi scheme[2].

Critical to the perpetuation of Ponzi’s scheme was the continual attraction of new investment money. His pool of new investors came primarily from an ‘affinity group’, that was the local Italian immigrant community, who believed that one of their own (an Italian) would not defraud them.[3] The next issue that faced Ponzi was creating a credible investment strategy that was difficult to assess.[4] Having no prior securities experience or formal financial training would have counted against Ponzi, however, during his immigration to the United States from Italy he had stumbled across an exploitable arbitrage prospect trading international reply coupons.[5] He claimed that by taking advantage of the strong United States dollar (USD) post World War One, he would purchase these coupons that were available in European countries for the equivalent of USD$0.01, then exchange them in the United States for USD$0.06 worth of stamps, ultimately selling the stamps and making gross profits of approximately six hundred per cent. He purported that this allowed him to offer his abnormally high rates of interest.[6] The last central factor was that Ponzi, the central promoter, had to act as a hub for all transactions - for both new investment capital coming in, and all returns paid to investors. He overcame this issue by purchasing a majority share in a local fledgling bank to act as an intermediary in all his transactions.[7] Armed with a believable strategy that was difficult to investigate, a bank to add to his credibility, combined with a steadily growing base of satisfied investors, news of Ponzi’s investment soon spread throughout New York, grabbing the attention of not only prospective investors but also the media and authorities.

A journalist working for the Boston Globe made inquiries into Ponzi and his alleged postage coupon arbitrage strategy and discovered two alarming problems.[8] The first was that Ponzi, who had previously been portrayed by the media as a likeable, hardworking and ambitious individual who was realising the American dream, had a criminal history. He had served two jail terms, twenty months and two years, for racketeering and human trafficking charges respectively. The second was that the value of all the international reply coupons printed per year was approximately USD$75,000 - scarcely enough to justify how he managed to repay the millions of interest due each month to his investors. A follow up article went on to suggest that Ponzi was in fact insolvent. The publications severely damaged Ponzi’s credibility, slowing the inflow of new investors - critical to the perpetuation of the scheme. Soon after the publication, the Massachusetts District Attorney ordered a halt on all business operations and that an audit be conducted to assess the legitimacy of Ponzi’s investment.[9] The scheme was unravelled and Ponzi’s arrest soon followed. During the trial, the prosecution presented astounding evidence such as; the scheme had raised enough money to purchase over one hundred million postage stamps – however only two were ever found in his possession, reportedly as samples to show new investors.[10] Ponzi was convicted of mail fraud and found to owe USD$7,000,000[11] which he obviously did not have.[12] He was incarcerated for five years in a federal prison followed by a further seven years upon his release by the Massachusetts authorities.[13]

Charles Dickens’ Little Dorrit

While Ponzi will forever claim naming-rights to the scheme, he cannot allege originality of design. The Charles Dickens 1857 novel Little Dorrit appears to first describe a fraudulent investment model analogous to that employed by Charles Ponzi, 63 years after the publication of the novel. Dickens’ plot revolves around how many people invested significant sums of money with a prominent London businessman, Mr Merdle. Their decision to invest was based on stories of how others had profited from his investments previously, but with little knowledge of how he achieved his returns. The book does not elaborate on the details of the scheme, however it is revealed upon his suicide, that Mr. Merdle was a fraud and that all their money had vanished.[14] It is clear that the money was embezzled fraudulently, and drawing from the characteristics outlined in the story, it is likely to be the first (be it fictional) account of a Ponzi scheme.

Characteristics and Red Flags

Drawing from the investment model that Ponzi used, the classical Ponzi scheme fundamentally operates like this: money from new investors is used to pay off old investors. Logically, the scheme is unsustainable and fated to collapse as in the long term, the liquidity required to pay off investors will eventually out strip the ability of the promoter to raise fresh investor funds.[15] Analysis of the scheme perpetrated by Charles Ponzi reveals three factors that are necessary for the classic Ponzi scheme to exist. First, there is a need for a continuous flow of new investment capital. This is a double-edged sword, as, while new investors ensure there is enough money to pay existing members, the flipside is that in doing so it creates an infinite loop. The fact that the person instigating the scheme is likely to withdraw large amounts of funds for personal use only accelerates the inevitability of collapse. Second, the attraction of new investors requires credibility, like every investment opportunity. Rates of interest offered are typically above-market averages to ensure the attraction of new investors; consequently the promoter must offer a credible strategy or explanation as to how the return on investment is achieved. While early investors will likely recommend the investment and provide the majority of referrals, the media are naturally skeptical. Thus the promoter of the scheme must balance the attraction of new investors without attracting too much attention. If news of a scheme that is ‘too-good-to-be-true’ spreads quickly, the media and competitors will want to ask why. Thirdly, the scheme promoter must act as both a custodian of funds and an advisor of the funds. This gives the promoter the freedom to receive funds and redistribute them as withdrawals and ‘interest payments’ to existing investors at his/her leisure. Knowing these characteristics will help when forming recommendations as to how to prevent the future existence of Ponzi schemes in New Zealand.

[1] Lars Tvede The Psychology of Finance (2^nd Ed, John Wiley & Sons, England, 1999).

[2] For the purposes of this essay, a Ponzi scheme will be defined as: an unsustainable investment scheme, where existing investors are paid out with new investors money.

[3] Stephen Foley "The Madoff files: Bernie's billions" The Independent (England, 29 March 2009).

[4] Paul Krugman The Great Unraveling (Norton, USA, 2003) at [52].

[5] Pre-paid return postage coupons for use in other countries.

[6] Tyede, Lars, above n 12 at [182].

[7] Ibid at [182].

[8] Ibid at [183]. The Boston Globe published the articles in July and August 1920.

[9] “Consults Lansing on Ponzi’s Business: Massachusetts Attorney General Sends Assistant to Confer with Him at Watertown, N.Y.” New York Times (United States of America, 7 August 1920) at 2.

[10] Tyede, Lars, above n 12 [184].

[11] USD$74,318,732 in today’s value.

[12] Editorial “Ponzi Arrested: Liabilities Put At $7,000,000” New York Times (United States of America, 17 August 1920) at 1.

[13] Associated Press “Ponzi is Deported, Hoping to Return” New York Times (United States of America, 8 October, 1934) at 3.

[14] Charles Dickens’ Little Dorrit (Bradbury and Evans, England, 1857) vol XIV at [386].

[15] Sandra Benson “Recognising the Red Flags of a Ponzi Scheme” (2009) 79 CPA Journal 6 at 21.

Blue Chip: A Ponzi scheme in disguise.

2010-09-22T21:23:00.012+12:00

Over the past year, I have followed the collapse of Blue Chip and subsequent 'fall out'. When I say 'fall out' I am referring to the criminal prosecution of Mark Bryers by the Ministry of Economic Development and the civil litigation undertaken by Auckland Barrister, Paul Dale (on behalf of the Bartle's).

Last semester I completed a research paper as a part of my Honours degree about Ponzi schemes in New Zealand. I used Blue Chip as a Ponzi Scheme case study. Why? Because I mashed some numbers around and came up with an idea that BC was really just a giant Ponzi scheme in disguise.

I discovered some interesting insights from the figures outlined in the Bartle Case. This post is an excerpt from that paper, revealing those insights.

Blue Chip: a Ponzi scheme in disguise?

In return over a typical four year period, [Blue Clip] investors believed:[1]

- They would receive regular fortnightly payments of approximately $450;
- They would receive approximately 10 per cent of any capital gain on the sale of the property;
- That Blue Chip would meet the interest and principle payments due on the mortgage the investors had taken out - until the investment was terminated. This could occur before the four years was up; and
- They would be relieved of their debt obligations at the end of four years.

These returns were based on the following assumptions that were stated in the Blue Chip disclosure statement:

- A consistent mortgage interest rate of 7.8% per annum (or less);
- One hundred per cent funding through borrowed funds;
- Six per cent rental yield; and
- Auckland property values doubling every 9.5 years.

Using this knowledge and combining it with the figures revealled in the Bartle case, whereby:

- [the Bartle’s] had a property worth $400,000, with a combined income of $21,000;
- [the Bartle’s] used the equity in their home to raise a $630,000 loan;
- This was used to purchase an apartment worth $552,000; and
- The difference ($78,000) was comprised of; $55,200 in “working capital”, a brokerage fee of 2.95% ($16,284) and other fees and levies “clipped” by Blue Chip at various stages of the transaction.

This essay builds an approximation of the optimistic versus actual cash flows for the investment over four years.

Table 1

Table 1 is based on the following assumptions:

- $640 p/week rent is maintained throughout the four years with no vacancy time;
- ‘Optimistic Property Value’ is based on property prices doubling in 9.5 years;[2]
- “Actual property value” is based on the property was valued at after four years;
- The mortgage was borrowed at the fixed interest rate of 7.8%;
- The cost of cleaning and general maintenance has been factored in; and
- The shareholders of Blue Chip withdraw no money.

Alarmingly, the table 1 reveals how the investment model is structured in a way whereby it will become insolvent during year two. This is simply due to the fact that outgoings exceed inflows.

Table 2

Table 2 illustrates how Blue Chip investment model required an exponential number of new investors to remain solvent.

The Blue Chip disclosure statement omitted several crucial facts that would have induced many investors to sign up to the scheme. According to Paul Dale,[3] it was not disclosed to the Bartle’s that they would have to pay an additional $55,200 in “working capital” on top of their investment, nor was it made clear in the initial negotiations with Blue Chip salesmen and lawyers that the liability would fall on them personally if Blue Chip was to collapse.[4] Further, Blue Chip physically altered loan applications submitted by the Bartle’s, to ensure the loans would be approved. Where the Bartle’s indicated that their employment status was “retired” on mortgage applications, Blue Chip employees had altered this without the consent of the Bartle’s, to “self employed investor”.[5] This meant that mortgage applications were more likely to be approved, despite the Bartle’s being retired and having a combined income of only $21,000 per annum, facts that would deny most mortgage applications instantly. It is obvious from this example that the disclosure system is by no means full-proof when it comes to ensuring investors are on a level playing field, let alone allowing regulators to effectively detect Ponzi schemes, or fraud in general.

[1] Bartle v GE Custodians [2010] 1 NZLR 802 (HC) at [87] (the Bartle case).

[2] “House Prices in Auckland” (2009) New Zealand Immigration < emigratenz.org>. Interestingly, during 2005 the average Auckland property price by increased 10%, however 2006 it increased by 4.5% - this critical assumption was unreasonable to make in investment prospectuses, and was arguably misleading and deceptive.

[3] Auckland Barrister representing over 300 former Blue Chip investors in civil litigation to recover lost funds.

[4] Paul Dale, Barrister “Blue Chip and the Finance Companies” (The New Zealand Governance: White Collar Crime and Serious Fraud Conference 2010, University of Auckland, Auckland, 2 July 2010).

[5] Ibid.

Super Poll Results.

2010-09-21T09:10:00.000+12:00

For the last month or so I've been running a poll on the side of my blog to see who you, the reader, believes would be the best man/woman to fill the giant shoes that will be the Mayor of Auckland (Super City).

Thanks for your votes (all 84 of them). Ignoring the fact that some intense standard-deviation may kick-in if one was to use these stats as a sample... John Banks would currently be getting very drunk on expensive champaign in celebration.

The results.

Banks, John - 37 votes (44%)
Brown, Len - 31 votes (36%)
Williams, Andrew - 1 vote (1%)
Bright, Penny - 2 votes (2%)
Craig, Colin - 3 votes (3%)
Gilmour, Ewen - 10 votes (11%)

Obviously there were a lot more than 6 candidates, and Ewen Gilmour ended up pulling out. Interestingly he received a lot of votes after this was announced. He is a part-time comedian, after all. If you're interested in my opinion about who will win, check this out.

I'd like to focus my next poll towards what I'm researching next semester. The paper is about corporate governance, and I'd like to look at related party transactions - with specific reference to the Hubbard Affair. I'd love to produce some original material about the whole affair, so if you know any information that hasn't already been thrashed in the media, please let me know!

Bloggin' around the world.

2010-09-20T18:10:00.002+12:00

Blogger - Tumblr - Wordpress. Which would win in a no-holds cage fight?

I've recently been thinking about my decision to use Blogger as my blog platform. Semi - regretting my decision.

I have been checkin out other Blogging service providers Wordpress and Tumblr. They seem waay cooler.

The blog that inspired me to start blogging is KiwiBlog.co.nz, run by David Farrar. It's awesome. What I didn't realise at the time, is that he runs Wordpress. He has obviously spent a lot of time getting it all to look good, but within the limits each provider offers, there is a "roof" you can reach, so to speak, in terms of making your blog unique.

The plus side to blogger is that it's owned by google, and hence, has the money money money.... MONEY behind it. So by that logic, it is likely to have more development occur in the near future perhaps?

What are you thoughts? I would love to hear from anyone who has experienced/heard stories about the other blogging service providers. I need all the tips and tricks I can get before I make my decision. Also, any wicked graphic designers out there keen to do me a blog background in exchange for a bit of advertising on the blog? flick me an email!

duncan.jessep@gmail.com

My picks for the winners of the Auckland local elections.

2010-09-19T10:42:00.003+12:00

Yesterday I received my election pack-thing in the mail. It included a booklet of all the candidates, what positions they were running for, and a little blurb on each one.

From these blurbs alone - I can tell who will win.

Sure fire bet number one:

Ol 'Walter Wi-Peri. He's pure class and sophistication. Natural born leader. And apparently, quite the entrepreneur. The photo is a little hazy, but second and third paragraphs are the clincher:

"I have also been granted patent rights by the New Zealand Patents Office for a mathematical ready reckoner that calculates a winning ticket from tickets that I had arranged numbers for an are randomly drawn.

I believe that I am in a position to monopolize the game of housie (Bingo) for the benefit of Charities, Medical Services, and Electioneering Helpful purposes."

You have got to be joking me.

a) Why the hell would you need to monopolize games of 'housie' if you were elected? It's blatantly cheating - aside from the fact that this mathematical thing sounds like utter codswollop. Plus, I'm pretty sure you'll get a budget to go spend on things like medical services mate.
b) What was going through his head when he wrote this. Did he think that people would be impressed that you could cheat old grandmas at an innocent game of sunday arvo bingo? Was he in fact high when he wrote this?
b) Can someone please explain what "Electioneering Helpful Purposes" is? Why are capitals used on all those letters. I bet he is referring to certain "helper" called marijuana.

Speaking of marijuana, I now make my second sure-thing pick:

Dave or "Kam" to those who are "in the know" is pretty much a shoe in. Why? I assert my opinion based on the following statement (para 3):

"Formal education played a very small role in my life. I left school at 14 once I discovered marijuana and I have walked with marijuana for 30 years"

HMMM. How is it possible to walk with an inanimate object? Marijuana doesn't have legs, Dave. Thus negating it's ability to move FULL STOP.

The future of Auckland. I like what I see.

Lovenish. The emerging town icon @ Queen St. BK.

2010-09-18T17:51:00.001+12:00

Have you met Lovenish?

Chances are you have. You probably don't remember him though.

He works the night shift at BK Queen St. opposite Shortland Street on Wednesaday, Thursday, and Saturday nights.

He is one hell of a good dude. Apparently works like 3 jobs or something just trying to make ends meet. On multiple occasions he has given me immense deals on my BK purchases, and always comes and sits down for a chat if his manager allows it.

Next time I'm in at Queen St. BK i'll get a photo with him and blog it.

If you have a story to share about Lovenesh, let me know! or even better - next time you're in at BK get a photo with him and i'll post it!

This can't be for real.

2010-09-18T11:07:00.001+12:00

A British dessert, apparently.

Found this gem in my pantry. I think it's been there for a while.

I don't want to open it.

Wiki can tell me what it is.

Spotted dick (or Spotty Dog) is a steamed suet pudding containing dried fruit (usually currants) commonly served with custard.Spotted refers to the dried fruit (which resemble spots) and dick may be a contraction or corruption of the word pudding (from the last syllable) or possibly a corruption of the word dough^[1] or dog, as "spotted dog" is another name for the same dish with the use of plums rather than currants. Another explanation offered for the word "dick" is that it comes from the German word for "thick", dicht or dick.

Chris Lee on Hubbard.

2010-09-17T18:18:00.003+12:00

Are the the figures relating to the good v bad "banks" within SCF accurate and fully disclosed?

Recently I've been looking about a different perspective on the Hubbard Affair. Newspapers tend to have the amazing ability to regurgitate the same facts over and over, playing to the same themes and facts that people love to hear about. And pay for.

Cruzin' the blogosphere, I've stumbled across the blog/website of Chris Lee (on the advice of a friend). He's a stockbroker who owns his own financial advisory business. He is apparently quite high profile. A quick search on Stuff.co.nz however, reveals the following:

"It appears to be a collection of investments without any structure, and looks more like something from a DIY investor, rather than one put together by an investment professional."

(The opinion of senior Spicers' financial planner Jeff Matthews on a portfolio created for retired Southland farmers Clare and John Lindsay on the advice of high-profile Kapiti Coast adviser Chris Lee)

Nevertheless, He has written a fairly intriguing article about his take on the Hubbard Affair. His tone is cynical, and I would hazard a guess to suggest he lost some money, or his clients money in the SCF collapse.

The points he raises are interesting to say the least. In essence, Lee questions whether SCF continued to trade recklessly past the point of no return, with minimal disclosure of the true state of financial affairs to investors.

He leaves 5 questions he would like to see answered:

1. Was SCF “breaking even” in 2010? How does this reconcile with $600m of losses (announced post-receivership)?

2. What were the actual reinvestment rates? Were the public in 2010 supporting SCF based on precise information?

3. Did SCF really collect $200m of bad loans, as the media, perhaps wrongly, claimed? Or was the $200m collected by cashing up good loans at a discount?

4. Why were the losses (said to be $600m) not visible to Maier and the directors and so relevant to the banner of materiality, under the continuous disclosure requirements of the NZX, acting for those who held listed securities?

5. Is the good bank $900m, as now claimed? Tax payers will hope so.

He makes good points, and clearly knows a lot of people on the 'inside'.

I think it's interesting that he only chooses to focus on the SCF activity past December 2009. What about decisions made prior to this point? Were they of little consequence?

On another note, I've decided my next dissertation-style paper for my Hons degree will be around related party transactions. Hopefully with a link to the SCF collapse. I've spoken to a few people who are "in the know" re the Hubbard Affair, and they've encouraged me to just cold call some of the ex-key players in SCF to get their first hand opinion/version of events. New evidence eh? That'll be refreshing.

Manukau City Council Bond Issue.

2010-09-16T08:02:00.002+12:00

About a week ago I posted a blog wondering how the Manukau City Council were able to issue 7 year bonds merely months before the amalagmation of the Super City.

I have recently found a bit more information on them.

The bonds are secured against the rating base of Manukau City Council. The power of Council to rate is found in the Local Government (Rating) Act 2002.
The issue has been approved by the Auckland Transition Agency. The new Auckland Council (AC) will take over responsibility for this debt after 1 November 2010.
The old Auckland City Council has a ‘AA-‘ credit rating from Standard & Poor. AC is currently being assessed and hopes to receive a similar credit rating.
Funds borrowed will be used for the financing needs of the existing councils that will make up the new AC.
AC will have a population of 1.44m people (33% of NZ), 511,000 rateable properties, 645,000 employees and 161,000 businesses, representing 35% of NZ GDP, in its region.
The maximum issue size is $350m. The minimum investment is $5,000 with multiples of $1,000 thereafter.
The maturity is 29 September 2017 (7 years).
The issue opens on 1 September and closes on 24 September 2010.
The interest rate will be set on 31 August. Guidance implies an interest rate falling between 6.45% - 6.75% based on current market conditions. Interest will be paid semi annually on March and September.
Early bird interest will be paid at the Official Cash Rate, which is currently 3.00%.
Unusually, this issue will start with Link Market Services as registry but will then be migrated across to Computershare. This is not a cause for concern.
MCC is not seeking and NZX listing, however, AC plans to do so. The bonds are easily traded regardless of whether they are NZX listed, or not.

Interesting. The ATA must be desperate for cash.

Contender for Mayoress of Pun City: Mother drinking Mother

2010-09-14T10:21:00.003+12:00

A mother drinking "Mother" energy drink.

The energy drink she was consuming.

The Hubbard Affair: Part II

2010-09-13T08:12:00.002+12:00

It appears the achilles heel for SCF was reckless lending
- just like every other failed finance company?

I have recently had a few conversations with various people I would consider to be 'in the know' about SCF - and their take on the reasons for it's collapse. The following post is based on a few of the issues that were raised in those conversations. Numbers used are not to be taken as definite figures, and many of these areas still need to be looked into.

1) Between 2002 - 2006 the amount of deposits with SCF tripled. Traditional, safe, and agriculturally related lending options - that SCF had traditionally pursued in the central south island - ran out. This forced lending to go towards more risky ventures. For example; it is rumored that failed property developer David Henderson (the ChCh one) was lent $27.4m for his new ventures. At the time he was being hounded by the IRD for millions owed in disputable taxes. But when it's easy come, easy go - right?

2) When were the decisions made to approve sub-prime loans? It appears that they took place primarily before the government retail deposit scheme (RDS) kicked in, so before 2008. This is contrary to what I have claimed in previous posts. Why the change of heart? When the RDS came into effect, it wasn't a free lunch, as many (including myself) were led to believe. It was effectively a government insurance package. So you had to pay a risk premium if you wished to be covered by the scheme. The more risky your portfolio, the more you had the pay. This was judged by the Standard and Poors rating. At the time the RDS came in, SCF was reportedly having to pay $300,000 per year to the govt for their backing. However, if their lending continued on the trend it was on, these payments would have increased to easily in the millions of dollars to cover themselves. Thus it is likely that he RDS actually made SCF and other finance companies in NZ more prudent during this time. Well done Bill English. Next point.

3) Who approved them? Was it Hubbard? It's not likely. On Radio NZ, in an interview with Shaun Plunket, Hubbard (through a friend) claimed that during 2003 - 2006 he tried to remove a "reckless lender" from the company 6 times - but with no success. During this time Hubbard was very unwell, suffering from ailments that frequently saw him hospitalized. He did not name names, however they will likely come out in the biography currently being written about him.

4) The preference shareholders and the government retail deposit scheme. Up until 2006, Hubbard owned 100% of SCF shares. In 2006, he issued $126m worth of preference shares to the public. These apparently paid good dividends while things were going well. The purpose of the issue was to keep the Standard and Poors rating up - i.e. to provide a check to ensure there was cash floating around in case things got tough. It is estimated that pref. shareholders owned 20% of SCF. Now that SCF has been handed to the receivers, all residual claimants (i.e. pref shareholders) are not going to see any of their investment capital - as it will cover the short fall of what is owed to higher ranking creditors i.e. debenture holders and bond holders. How bond holders are covered by the government retail deposit scheme is beyond me right now - i'm looking into it.

5) Statutory Management and investor confidence. There is no question that putting the Hubbards - personally - into statutory management had a huge impact on the redeposit rate at SCF. In the years leading up to the debacle, the redeposit rate at SCF was reportedly well above industry norms, at approximately 94%. However, in the months following the move to put Hubbard into statutory management, SCF saw a month - on - month 'run' by depositors. Apparently, each month, depositors withdrawals from SCF added $55m to the already worsening financial situation.

6) A note on rural lending trends. My last post on this topic, 'The Hubbard Affair' attempted to make a point about the difference in business practice that is apparent between the rural economy of the South Island and that in "the big smoke" - Auckland. More evidence to support this claim. According the Farmers Weekly, 40% of all SCF's farm loans (valued at $252m) involved all interest being capitalised and repaid at the end of the loan term. Wow. I how often this practice takes place among ordinary banks, or finance companies up in Auckland? or is this a typical model for finance companies investing in land?

7) Hubbard is reportedly totally broke. All his blue-chip assets (NZ Heli and Scales) have gone towards saving SCF. What I am begining to realise is that this debacle is far less likely to be high profile, well planned and clinical white-collar crime. I've been reading too much about Madoff. Instead, the reasons for collapse are likely to be all related reckless lending, poor internal controls and financial checks.

Black holes and religious revelations

2010-09-11T11:28:00.005+12:00

Unfortunately, this situation can sometimes occur when this topic is discussed.

Like most students, I love a good argument about religion. As long as everyone is reasonably open-minded to hear other peoples take on things, the topic can be very interesting indeed. This post is vaguely based around recent religion arguments/discussions I have had with various people. It is not intended to offend anyone, only to provoke discussion. Often, I try to keep religion arguments fairly black and white, knowing fool well that religion is a very grey topic.

With this in mind, points that I often try discuss/get the other persons view on:

1. That the major commonality among all world religions is that they all provide a vehicle for explanation. Why do we need an explanation? Piece of mind and a sense of purpose are arguments that could arise here.

2. The concept of faith. Nietzsche once said, "Faith means not wanting to know what is true". What is the 'truth' he is referring too? Arguably, he meant 'logical explanation'. Logic: a believable sequence of events that explain how things came to be. In the absence of truth (the current level of logic/science tends to pose more questions than answer), faith is the only 'logical', be it illogical, explanation for everything.

3. Leading on from point 2, is: Logic v religion - the need to fill the 'void' for explanation. Dawkins, in his book The God Delusion argues that religion has always filled the 'void' for explanation, without which, most people would be pretty lost to say the least. Dawkins is a bit of a twat, but raises interesting points, and at the very least, he asks good questions. The crux of Dawkins argument is that logical explanation could fill this void, claiming science could effectively become the new global replacement for all systems of belief. Interesting point. However I think that for logic to comprehensively replace religion as an explanation, huge advancements in science would be necessary. For instance, according to most science books, "the big bang", or the logical genesis to the current sequence of life occurred 13.7 b years ago. If this point is raised in a discussion (even if I raise it), I love throwing this out there: what happened another 13.7 b years before that? I'm not saying that there was a "higher power" behind it, but I'm saying that there are huge voids in logical explanation at present. Proponents of religion could argue that the "what happened before that" response in an argument such as this can only lead to a "higher power" type answer.

4. The current attempts of science to explain the "truth". I love this topic. Current attempts include: what happens when we die? Experiments in this field involve interviewing people who have been clinically dead, and what they remember feeling/seeing during that time. But my personal favorite, the most expensive science experiment in history, is the Large Hadron Collider in Geneva. Among other side experiments, this giant particle execrator was designed for one purpose: to witness the existence of the Higgs Boson particle a.k.a. the 'god particle'. Simply, and hypothetically, this particle is what gives everything else mass. A fairly fundamental, yet unexplained area in quantum physics. What it is and how it works is incredibly hard to understand to a layman (or anyone without a Ph.D in sub-atomic science). If you want a good analogy, check this out.

5. Flaws in logic. I've argued before that science is largely based on the assumption that "all things have a beginning and an end". The "piece of string" analogy usually comes in here, as in, one day there was nothing and now there is something. But what was there before the nothing? Using this logic, there is a possible answer is that provided by the eastern systems of belief - a cyclical type explanation of existence. Where there was never a beginning and there will never be an end. But again, what existed before the cycle?

6. Black holes/worm holes. Not related, but a flippin' fascinating topic. Plus I had to include this point to make the title-pun make sense.

I would love to hear your take on all this. I'm open to all comments on this topic, but only if you're serious about it. If you have a view, please express it, please don't make comments personal, i'll remove them if they are.

The Hubbard Affair

2010-09-08T12:49:00.002+12:00

Sandy Maier, former CEO of SCF has spoken out against the
corporate governance structure employed by Allan Hubbard.

Allan Hubbard has recently received a significant amount of media attention: investigation by the SFO, involvement in South Canterbury Finance, and with regard to personal opinion of his character. With this in mind, this article looks at the differences between business mentalities in the South Island and the North Island (generally) as a contributing reason to the recent SCF recievership. It also discusses a possible relationship between the 'retail deposit guarantee scheme' and reckless trading, within the broad topic of good corporate governance principles.

Both my parents are ex-farmers from the central South Island, and while they're pretty much full J.A.F.A. converts, dad still drinks Spieghts for some (probably nostalgic) reason. We still have family down in the South Island, and I've spent many a Christmas waking up to the Canterbury foothills and the unique MacKenzie country landscape. During those holidays, my relatives would sometimes talk about Allan Hubbard - usually about how they or the community had indirectly/directly benefited from his generosity, praising his unique, be it personal, approach to business.

It doesn't take a genius to notice that the rural community dynamic in the South Island is a world away from that in Auckland. Almost everyone knows everyone on first name basis, and they're all ready to help each other out if there is a need for it. Consequently, business tends to be conducted on a much more personal basis. The recent media attention around the 'Hubbard Affair' has merely highlighted this deep cultural and business practice difference between the North and South Islands. Aucklander's can't get their head around the support that has been rallied around Hubbard in-light of recent events, and Cantabrians just hate Aucklander's. Its not really their fault, more a disposition they tend to be born with. The trouble is, business and dealing with 'friends' has the very real potential to turn nasty, especially when you're playing with other peoples money. And I believe that it is the nature of South Island business practice, exemplified by the business conduct of Allan Hubbard, that is at least partially to blame in the undoing of SCF.

No matter where you go, a business has to have 'personal' elements. But in the case of Allan Hubbard and SCF, these personal elements appear to have been more like 'friend' elements, which could be interpreted as a form of cronyism. For example:

Hubbard was chairman of South Canterbury Finance until earlier this year; his board was small and made up of local business partners and friends; a high proportion of its lending was to related parties; its auditor was a tiny Timaru accounting firm and its trustee was Hubbard's second employer as a young man.

While a legalistic view of business can be largely black and white, in terms of general conduct (i.e. right and wrong, good and bad for the company), friendships are far from black and white - especially in situations where a company has poor or partial systems for decision making.

Referred to as "related party" transactions - the reality is that SCF is estimated to have approximately $300m worth of 'related party' loans on their books which have been described as "impaired" or unlikely to be recovered. In terms of SCF's corporate governance structure, now former CEO, Sandy Maier claimed when Hubbard was asked by the board if a loan was to a related party, he would answer "yes and no", and the loan would be approved regardless. For example, Mr Maier claims that loans went to Southbury (a Hubbard related party) and other entities in which Hubbard had interests where the value wasn't there. While related party loans are not illegal, there is a requirement for them to be "at arms length", and there is doubt as to whether these loans met the objectivity standards (especially regarding rates of interest) that are common in business of giving loans.

A possible question is around whether this activity amounts to reckless trading? or possibly in contravention of provisions around how directors must act in the best interests of the company? It is a question that may or may not be evert answered.

An interesting twist on this situation is the apparent correlation between the retail deposit guarantee scheme implemented by the Government in 2008, during the Global Financial Crisis to prevent 'runs' on finance companies - and the rise of reckless trading at SCF. Interestingly, the guarantee scheme covers all depositors principle + interest promises. In the case of SCF, interest promised was often in the double digits. This removes a huge portion of the risk associated with making a deposit, and consequently SCF received a huge influx of fresh capital once the scheme was in place. The problem was however, that SCF retained their high interest promises, forcing them to invest that money in riskier and risker ventures. However, in a still recovering economy, and to put it crudely, the "outflows soon exceeded inflows", forcing SCF into receivership. The justification for investing in riskier ventures could have come down to the fact that the government backing was infallible. And raises the question, did the scheme promote reckless trading?

The "Hubbard Affair" brings to light a raft of issues around the New Zealand's approach to good corporate governance practice. It questions whether the Government thought through the implications of providing a seemingly 'wide' deposit guarantee - without restrictions on returns companies could promise investors under the scheme. And it must be asked whether lessons will be learnt to prevent future instances such as this.

I am currently completing a post-graduate paper in Corporate Governance at the University of Auckland. Expect to see a few more articles about these types of topics in the future.

But I digress...

2010-09-07T09:45:00.004+12:00

The other night I had an illuminating conversation with a good family friend of ours. The topic of my blog arose. She questioned why I was blogging in the first place, as she had noticed that my posts of late had become simply on-the-moment-provocative-nonsense (a.k.a. trolling) with little lasting impact on readers. I had to agree, after re-reading my last posts. What is the purpose of my blog? Humorous social commentary? Maybe. It started as a place for me to publish what I was researching at University. When I look at my posts now, that is not what I see.

Where did I go wrong? I can tell in one portmanteau: GoogleAnalytics.

I have sold out to getting more page views than the previous day. My first articles were about reform of the financial markets and politics, the subject matter of my latest articles range from "collective nouns for monsters" to promotional plugs.

I have been thinking about this for a while, and I think you'll see a change in my blog topics from now on.

Who saved ChCh from the earthquake: Strict Building codes or God?

2010-09-05T15:01:00.003+12:00

When something major happens in NZ, I love turning to the major international media websites for the worlds take on events.

I mention this because in light of the recent ChCh earthquake, it has been front-page-news of every singe one of them. To see for yourself, have a look at CNN, The Guardian, LA Times, New York Times etc. And it's hilarious - not so much the reporting (although they always manage to slip in a a reference to The Lord of the Rings) - but the comments that people leave at the bottom of the article.

One CNN article praises the strict building codes NZ must adhere to, claiming that they are the sole reason why there was no loss of life. The article compared the NZ building codes to those Haiti, and says that if there was stricter enforcement of similar building codes in Haiti, many lives would have been saved.

A commenter named "Codemaster" points out that seismic building alterations (to make a structure resilient to earthquakes) only adds an extra 10% on top of the cost of a dwelling (with no evidence to support his claim). And claims that it would be better to have less buildings in Haiti, than unsafe ones. His view is ripped to shreds by a procession of other commenters. For example:

This clown's comparing New Zealand with Haiti? New Zealand is a wealthy nation. It can afford homes and businesses built with earthquake-resistant techniques. Someone please explain to us how perhaps the poorest nation on Earth can afford earthquake building standards? It's not a matter of enforcement. It's a matter of what can you afford! Can anyone guess why construction in California is so much more expensive than anywhere else in the US? THEY HAVE TO BUILD FOR EARTHQUAKES, that's why! It costs money, and Haiti doesn't have money.

However, the best comment by far, is by "Samson" who says:

As a republican I detest strict regulation of any kind. It was God that saved New Zealand. Today only, instant salvation if you give 10% of your income to the Church of Glen Beck.

Wow. Incredible. Americans? Please tell me no Christians in NZ hold views similar to this.

Fonterra get NZX to build in-house trading platform

2010-09-03T08:49:00.000+12:00

This is a dairy cow.

A couple of months back, farmers/shareholders who are apart of Fonterra co-operative agreed to allow trading amongst themselves.

What did this achieve? Well [Sir] Henry Van der Heyden said this at the shareholders meeting:

"[the in-house trading scheme would] stop money washing in and out of Fonterra's balance sheet from season to season and provide permanent capital to grow returns."

Practically this means that the redemption risk for shares, provision in Foterra's account in case they need to buy shares back, which was the previous system, could be removed off the balance sheet. This would have boosted their accounts immediately. But in the long term, the new system should provide "a lasting solution that could remain at the core of [Fonterra's] capital structure for many years to come."

Cool banana's. But it's not a solution that will last forever.

Reckon they'll open trading up the public ever?

Probs not soon, but I think it'll happen one day. Farmers only have a limited amount of capital, especially when compared to the combined pool that the public can offer.

The Manukau City Bond Issue... months before the Supercity?

2010-08-31T17:59:00.000+12:00

A couple of weeks ago I received the following email from ASB Securities:

Manukau City Council Bond Issue

Hi Mr Jessep,

As a valued customer of ASB Securities, we'd like to provide you with some information about an investment opportunity which you may wish to consider.
Manukau City Council Secured Bonds
The Manukau City Council is making an offer direct, fixed rate bonds, secured by rates revenue of Manukau City. The bond is for a 7 year term, maturing on 29 September 2017 with a minimum investment amount of $5,000 and multiples of $1,000 thereafter.
The interest rate for this bond will be set at the higher of:
a) the Minimum Interest Rate; and
b) the sum of the Swap Rate and the Issue Margin.
The Minimum Interest Rate and the Issue Margin will be set following the bookbuild process. Details of the Minimum Interest Rate and the Issue Margin will be advised by the issuer on or before 1 September 2010.
This offer closes on 24 September 2010.
If you'd like to register an expression of interest or to find out more about this offer:

Visit www.asbsecurities.co.nz or
Call 0800 ASB OFFER (0800 272 633)

Thank you for your continued support.
Best regards,
ASB Securities TeamASB Securities Telephone 0800 272 732, Fax 09 337 2425 or Email asbsecinfo@asb.co.nz

Following this, I have two questions.

1) This issue is going out less than three months from the amalgamation of the Supercity (1st November is when all the councils legally become one) - so what happens to this debt? Is it passed onto the new Supercity? Could the debt have a potentially adverse effect on the credit rating of the Supercity?

2) What is this money going to be spent on?

Would love to know.

$31 for a 12 box is not "low prices you can count on" Countdown.

2010-08-31T08:02:00.000+12:00

I would not pay more than $22 - $24 for a 12 box of Corona, especially at Countdown.

I was crusin' the isles at my local Countdown the other day and saw a giant pile of Corona in the middle of the floor. "Sweet" i think - believing it will be the typical $20-for-12 type of deal. Negative. I was confronted with the above situation.

$31 is not a "low" price - like it was purporting to be. Inflation was only 2.2% (absolute guess) last quarter.

Why have prices for a 12 box of Corona gone up so dramatically?

Not cool. (pun alert - it wasn't refrigerated either)

Stuff.co.nz on "supremacism" plate

2010-08-31T07:23:00.002+12:00

Apparently, its short for "Andrew Ryan" - a former boyfriend of the plate owner.

Stuff reports:

To some "ARYAN1" is a clear message inciting racial (and antisemitism?) hatred.

But to Upper Hutt mother Lisa Marie Thompson, it is nothing more than a personalised licence plate displaying the initial and surname of her former boyfriend – Andrew Ryan.

Ms Thompson was surprised when the inadvertent nod to Adolf Hitler's master race sparked a complaint to the Transport Agency from an offended motorist.

"This is really offensive, for pretty obvious reasons," the complainant wrote. "How can somebody even have a plate like this approved? I am baffled."

However, transport officials are refusing to have the plate withdrawn, saying it would breach Ms Thompson's rights – despite the obvious association of the "Aryan" with "white supremacism".

First, why have you still got a number plate of a former boyfriend? Livin' in the past. Time to head to QF Tavern to snag you a new one? I think so.

Second, it is interesting that transport officials recognised how the plate could potentially offend people - but did nothing, believing it was within her right.

So what is the line when it comes to the "government" stepping in and stopping you from having that "Killah" plate? (irony alert - 'Killah' was actually banned by the New Zealand Transport Authority or NZTA).

The banned list of actual plates that have been banned, as reported by The Dominion Post:

4QANC, 50KILA, DALIPS, DRGDLR, H8ACC, HOBNGR, JAPSUX, KCUFME, MDAFKR, OLDKNT, PIZZDA, PLICK, QUICKE, RNUDWN, RSWYPE, SIKCNT, TAMPON, TBAGGD, WEBUYP, H8PIGS, BIT5H, BAD ARS.

Plus 25 three-letter combinations, including plates beginning with ARS, BUM, CUN, DUM, FAK, FAT and FUZ.

All understandable.

But should the before mentioned plate join the ranks of the 'banned list'?

What do you think?

The ridiculous number plates series: Part IV

2010-08-29T12:53:00.002+12:00

A sweet 16th birthday present perhaps?

Hmmm yes. Another superb reader submitted number plate... quite a find really. The 1990's BMW compliments the plate nicely. One could probably imagine the personality the driver to a tea...

1. Daddy brought the car as a "congratulations on achieving NCEA Level 2"
2. Still doesn't know how to use a petrol station properly, and will sit in the car until is assisted
3. 96.1 FM is preset "1"

I could go on. But I won't. The plate says enough.

The ridiculous number plates series: Part III

2010-08-27T08:49:00.000+12:00

Not so much the number plate, but the wheel cover...

Consider the typical driver of a Rav4: Female, can't quite afford a Ford Territory, listens to ZM (sticker on back window), only drinks trim latte's with 1x "equal" sugar, and has a couple of young kids.

If the above is true, what happens when the kids ask, "mummy, what is a "g spot"? Or, why is your number plate "Hooter"?

I'd love to witness that explanation.

James Jeffery, youtube fame, and sweet drumming skills.

2010-08-26T21:55:00.003+12:00

James with a drum kit.

What happens when you mix: sweet drumming skills, a video camera and social networking ability?

Internet fame.

This is exactly the killer combo kiwi-vlogging drummer/remixer James Jeffery has pulled off. He's got something like 30,000 friends on myspace. Is own fan page on FB. Over 1000 followers on twitter and nearly 400,000 total uploaded views on his Youtube vids. Insane in the membrane.

He's just remixed and produced a new song - Eminem and Rihana "love the way you lie". Check it out and see for your self.

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE VIDEO

The bar has been set high, Son... ny Bill Williams

2010-08-26T07:42:00.001+12:00

Hype much? I think the NZ media is expecting nothing less than another Dan Carter from Sonny Bill Williams.

SBW, mate, you've got a fair whack to live up to. Sure you can throw a shoulder or two with great success, even throw a punch or two, with similar success - but can you play rugby at an international level? Perhaps. The bar is ridiculously high.

Its no secret that SBW wants the black jersey. And perhaps a spot in the RWC squad in 2011. He turned down $6 mil (At Toulon, a French club) to achieve his childhood dream of playing for the All Blacks, which only pays $550,000. However - this is $50,000 more than the possible salary under the NRL salary cap rules. The question of whether these sal-cap rules are adhered to is another story.

But it's not about the money. It's about representing your country. And to do that, he has to prove to John Henry he can work well with Carter (when he gets back from his strategically timed injury break). That is a big reason why he would have signed to the Crusaders, plus it's well known that the Cantabs are the main talent pipe line for the AB's.

I think we can expect to see much more of SBW on our sports pages, whether it's good or bad. But you know how the media is - it's probably going to be bad. They've built this guy up, and he's now at their mercy.

Interesting side note, SBW's announcement to sign with the NZRU over Toulon was made at a press release on the eve of the FIFA world cup. There isn't much doubt that it was an attempt to retain the nations attention on our national sport... somewhat successful, but an interesting tactic none the less.

How do you think SBW will perform? Is it all hype? or has he got more talent than a talent for high tackles?

Alcohol reform. Good, bad or ugly?

2010-08-23T16:17:00.004+12:00

A "woody", the foulest tasting beverage since sarsaparilla.

Last week I was walking to my local cafe, and on the way I passed a mechanic's garage. Working on the road was an employee with a tool box, a pie and a 440 can of Bourbon and Cola. The time was 2pm and I was slightly shocked. I recovered quickly when I remembered that I was indeed roaming the streets of Onehunga, and this type of behaviour was not out of the ordinary. Despite this, I'm a big proponent of "there's is a time and a place". And in my opinion, having a 2.3 standard-drink beverage while fixing someone's class-3-license-required-truck was definitely the wrong time to rehydrate with a "woody".

I'm off topic and I haven't even started.

Today, the Government has announced plans to reform the alcohol industry. The proposal in a nut shell:

- Split alcohol purchase age of 18 for bars and 20 for off-licences.

- Banning the sale of pre-mixed RTDs that have more than 5 per cent alcohol or that contain more than 1.5 standard drinks.

- Making it an offence for anyone other than a parent or guardian to provide alcohol to an under-18-year-old without a parent's or guardian's consent.

- Allowing the Minister of Justice to ban alcohol products which are particularly appealing to minors or particularly dangerous to health. This is expected to apply to things like milk-based alcohol drinks or alcoholic ice-blocks.

- Allowing local communities to decide on their own "alcohol plan" with details about the concentration, location, and opening hours of alcohol outlets to be included.

Wow. Thank god i'm over 20.

The question is, is it fair? Or perhaps more importantly, will these measures achieve what the Government is trying to achieve? What are they trying to achieve? Are they trying to curb the "drinking" culture in New Zealand? Perhaps. There is definitely a youth focus and it's obviously targeted at lower socio-economic area's in metropolitan cities. It'd say its big objective is to prevent violence.

But is our drinking culture so ingrown, that changes such as the proposed, are like throwing water balloons at a brink wall? Yeah. I reckon so. But we will see.

Any thoughts - let me know!

NZH Cartoon on Compulsory Super.

2010-08-20T09:42:00.000+12:00

Fantastic cartoon in today's paper by Body re: Compulsory KiwiSaver.

From my perspective, the jist of the message is - ever since tax incentives were introduced to KiwiSaver, it has been a slippery slope towards full compulsion (we can thank Michael Cullen for this). However, the irony is that "John Key" made sure "Compulsory KiwiSaver" "followed us home" - so the fiscal pressure can be taken off NZS as the national pop ages...

Compulsory KiwiSaver is a backdoor for New Zealand Superannuation!

Mayoral Debate @ the Owen Glenn

2010-08-18T09:10:00.004+12:00

Last night was the Mayoral Debate on the Urban Environment, run and organised by NICAI (National Institute of Creative Arts and Industries), held at the Owen G. Glenn building. It was the first time I have ever witnessed a live, political debate - and i'd have to say, I would highly recommend the experience.

The first thing I was confronted with, right outside the auditorium, was a newspaper called The Militant - run by the Communist Party of NZ. Wow. Free countries are great huh.

The attendees at the debate were John Banks (side note: google "John Banks" and the first link to come up is for mayoral candidate Colin Craig, who did not make an appearance last night), Len Brown, Simon Prast, and Andrew Williams. The debate was facilitated by award winning journalist and radio host Rod Oram (see photo below).

Rod Oram and me

The structure of the debate was as follows:

The candidates were first allowed 3 minutes (which quickly turned into 7mins) to do their "spiel" on their vision for Auckland city.
Next there were 4 'rounds' (there were supposed to be 5, but one cannot put a time limit on the passionate debate and banter that ensued during the these rounds).
Lastly questions were taken from the audience.

To view video's of the candidates 'spiels', click on the links below (they are on youtube):

John Banks
Len Brown
Andrew Williams
(camera didn't work for Simon Prast)

My thoughts on the debate.

All the candidates knew how to dodge curve ball questions and reveal minimal policy. Standard political play. It was fairly obvious it was a two man show (John and Len), however Simon Prast, brought a bit of flair to proceedings with well placed rebuttal and humour. I would not be surprised if he were to come third, however few people know of him in the greater auckland area.

Len and Andrew both promised rail from "north to south, east to west" and rail from the city to the airport. This would involve an underwater railway to the North Shore. John didn't reveal much specific policy, but used a lot of emotive words, and much of his "air time" defending decisions made under his mayoral reign - and did an admirable job. He stressed how "affordable" decisions must be made, considering the debt Auckland and indeed, New Zealand are currently in - a valid point. Andrew didn't make much of an impact, although he did sell the changes that he had made at N.S.C. very well. They all sold themselves well, actually.

However, will the mentality that achieved change in each city, work for all the other cities? Who knows. The diverse, polarised and geographically expansive greater Auckland region cannot be subject to generic policy. I think there is a danger of this occurring. How the new mayor will strike a balance between economic growth, creating and maintaining an equitable society and sustainability (in the broad sense) will be the greatest challenge.

There were a couple of interesting questions at the end from the audience. One around how the candidates would address the fact that cutting down trees will be 100 times easier in 2012 once new legislation is passed. Len and Andrew responded with how their cities were currently "fighting" the change. John responded with how the change was out of his hands and that Auckland city were planting many new trees anyway. I can't remember what Simon said. A few more questions ensued, then a final question was thrown at John Banks, about comments he made a couple of weeks back regarding his claim that he wanted to bring the Olympics to New Zealand considering his "affordable" budget policy. He responded with an answer along the lines of, 'the Olympics were not the type of thing that would be happening in the short term, and probably never.'

Overall a great debate. If you get a chance to talk to Simon Prast, I encourage you to do so. He is one interesting bloke.

My mates band is this close --> | ------ | to a record deal. Help them by checking out their stuff!

2010-08-17T07:55:00.005+12:00

Operation FM performing Live

I've known my mate Sam (lead singer) since I was literally a couple of hours hold. We hung out when we were young, and still hang out now. Except right now, he's in England being a rockstar, so having a catch up over a couple of beers down at the local is logistically, quite complex.

He's like I said, he is a rockstar. He has fans. You probably don't..? ahh too bad. And his band, Operation FM (Facebook and MySpace here) are very very very close to getting a record deal with a major record company. Recently, under their own finances, they have written and recorded a whole heap of new material, so to catch the eye of those big companies that have offer them that elusive deal, they need to promote their new songs!

The band - but on a grassy knoll.

Please go check out their stuff! You'll like it. And if you love it, then buy it on itunes!

To build, or not to build...

2010-08-15T23:20:00.002+12:00

Hey, I'm Korey and I will be doing a guest blog for Duncan every now and then on U.S. Politics. I confess to not knowing everything about the subject, and only wish to show how ludicrous and entertaining it can be. Anyway, let's get into it...

The big controversy in the US at the moment is the plan to build a mosque 2 blocks from Ground Zero. It has been granted zoning approval by NYC, and really there is no legal hurdles stopping it from being built. Now obviously, this has been viewed by some people as an insult to the victims of the 9/11 attacks and their families. To many others this move is seen as a great step in showing that America can overcome its differences and religious divides, and be an example for the rest of the world. It's a tricky situation with both sides having much energy and passion behind them. Although I can see the point of view of those who oppose its construction, I hold a different position.

Two of the most important freedoms Americans go nuts over are freedom of religion, and freedom of speech. You will always hear how great America is, and how they are the birth place of modern day liberty. But is seems that as soon as something like this appears, some of them are only too willing to throw away these freedoms. These people, for better or worse, may not like the fact that a mosque is being built so close to a place where murder was "justified" by the same holy book (the Qur'an); but they should recognize the mosque's right to be built. If they truly believed in all that America is supposed to stand for, all that they say they stand for, they would acknowledge that the people behind this project have just the same right to build on private land as any other American citizen does. If they do not, then they should have the courage to stand up and say that they believe in freedom, only when it’s related to something they are in favour of.

Like I said, I can see where they are coming from. But isn't a situation like this exactly what the troops in the Middle East are fighting for anyway? The right to not be persecuted for what you believe in? I think that this is one way of showing that America will not be held hostage to fear and hate, but rather step up to the mark and do what they know is right.

What do you think?

KiwiSaver, tax incentives and the death of NZS.

2010-08-15T09:02:00.004+12:00

Article on Stuff today:

The government will put compulsory retirement savings on the table as part of a review to boost Kiwis' retirement nest-eggs and reduce New Zealand's dependence on overseas borrowing...

The fate of the Cullen superannuation fund, KiwiSaver and tax breaks for savings – which could halve the tax paid on some bank deposits and other investments – will also be in the mix.

Great? So what's going to change:

The argument is if you are earning 6% interest and inflation is running at 2% then you should only be taxed on 4%. That's the argument and it has been around since Adam was a schoolboy," Shewan said.

But that was just one of the many issues to be examined. Some funds were already taxed at 28%, so there was already an element of reduced tax for savings.

That sounds fantastic, why not?

...if the government does opt to make membership of KiwiSaver compulsory, it is likely to sell it as a boost to the pool of capital available for investment as a way of lowering New Zealand's dependence on overseas lenders.

Strategists are aware such a move could be painted as a backdoor way to replace the state pension with private savings. But they believe Prime Minister John Key's pledge not to change entitlements or the retirement age will prevent fears about the future of superannuation from overshadowing the savings debate.

The thing is, the Government (Labour - Progressive 05 - 08) 'sold' KiwiSaver to New Zealand like that last time. And most of New Zealand don't understand the economic relationships between:

- private savings (for retirement for instance)
- total savings (and their impact on the current account deficit)

- and the use of tax incentives to encourage savings.

The fatal flaw in KiwiSaver (when it was first introduced) was that the tax incentives were designed in such a away they did not induce "new" savings from the public. Instead, people just sacrificed other savings from other areas, or increased their spending - while the cost to the Government both in direct tax incentives and missed tax revenue - was astronomical.

This cost was so great that, paradoxically, it was forecast that KiwiSaver would cost $1.2b by 2011 but only inducing $1.1b worth of savings (NZ Treasury figs in 2009). So a scheme that was designed as a possible "backdoor" for NZS, was actually going to exacerbate it's fiscal demise? Interesting. Since then, the significant tax incentives have been removed, but some still remain.

I'm currently putting the finishing touches on a 7000 words essay on the "Tax issues in KiwiSaver", i'll try put up under "research" when I finish.

I'll keep you posted.

Internet payday.

2010-08-14T18:28:00.001+12:00

Note: this is slightly more than $1.31

According to Google Adsense, i've made $1.31 in three days!

"SEND ME MY CHEQUE NOW" - Click.

Over compensation?

2010-08-13T13:35:00.003+12:00

Just a little bit.

The advertising experiment

2010-08-13T07:50:00.001+12:00

More than anything, the purpose of this blog for me to learn about using the internet, making websites and the likes. The next step in this experiment to fool around with google adsense.

You will notice a banner down the side of my page... I know it's not that desirable, I always dislike websites that are plastered with ads, but it's an interesting learning experience working with adsense.

So far, i've discovered I can only use default ad sizes, and can't really choose what I advertise (currently it is advertising "Fitness-singles.com" with a photo of some chick doing a pressup... you can't be serious). At one point this morning it displayed an ad for a fairly dodgey dating website. I bet some mail order bride service will pop up.

Is this just a scam or is it legit?

Anyway, i've always wanted to know how much money people made per view or click of one of these ads...

I'll keep you posted.

"Otara" Chucks + "UZAHOE" = Loss of faith in humanity.

2010-08-11T09:51:00.008+12:00

Most of the time I am proud to live in Onehunga. There are times, however, when I wish I didn't.

The other day I was cruising through Onehunga Mall (for a description of this place click here) and came across two things that made me seriously wonder, not just about Onehunga as a place to live, but humanity in general.

First, this:

There is no way that this can be legit.

One of my favourite shops in Onehunga is "Lotsa Shoes". And yup, they have lots of shoes. However, amongst the rather adhoc shoe category system they have, I found this little gem. They were half the price of normal, untainted chucks, and there was obviously demand for them as there was only 5 shoes left.

This alone was bearable. However, on my way home I witnessed this (consider it part two of the unbelievable number plate series)

No i'm not?

Incredible. What was going through this person's mind when they spent $600+ on a personalised plate? Did they think it was something that people would enjoy reading? Did they think at all?

I'd love to know.

Hubbard off the Hook?

2010-08-11T08:52:00.001+12:00

Was the move to put Allan Hubbard into statutory management just a dud firework?

It appears that he might be. An article in today's NZH reveals that cabinet is facing the possibility that the SFO have not found any evidence of serious fraud by Allan Hubbard. Its a tad embarrassing, to say the least, and is not a good look for Adam Feeley or the politicians who approved the move to put Hubbard under statutory management.

Time, again, will tell as no hard report has yet to be released. But it is increasingly looking as though this case is going to turn out to be a fizzer...

bloglovin

2010-08-10T17:12:00.001+12:00

Follow my blog with bloglovin

Daily Factoid: Number plates like "H1 Rola" don't pick up chicks.

2010-08-10T16:48:00.002+12:00

This is not a cool number plate.

Came across this gem on my way back from Uni. Despite popular belief, this number plate will not attract chicks. It will probably attract "random" police checks though.

Btw.

Ever wondered why people spend trillions doing up Jap imports and always have a "for sale 021xxxxxxxx" or "Offers 027xxxxxxxx" on the back window?

It is an age-tested and secret boy racer pick up line. The 'theory' is that girls will text them (because they are wow'ed by the 'phatness' of their ride), and that will lead to 'something'. Something isn't a relationship tho, its just the 'benefits', cos boy racers are too cool to be tied down to only one girl.

If bored, I encourage you to text one of these fake "for sale" numbers and pretend you are a wow'd member of the public. They will probably reply with "wanna meet up", before you even reveal your gender.

I'd love to rant more about my fascination with boy racers. They are truly a unique breed of individual. If I see more outrageous Boy Racer behaviour, I will be sure to capture it, blog it and release it to the world.

Girl Falls 6 Stories while on E: the Parents should go to rehab.

2010-08-10T08:40:00.000+12:00

Front page of the NZ Herald today. Some girl went out partying for one last blowout before rehab and ended up felling six stories off a parking building believing she could fly. She's in a "stable" condition, so not one died, but there was potential.

Who is to blame? Easy. The parents.

The frustrating thing is, and anyone who has read the article would have picked this up, is the irrational view of the mother. Obviously she's upset, and no doubt asking herself where it all went wrong. She's looking for a scape goat. But if she wants to find the person too blame, she only needs to go down to the nearest Spotlight, purchase a mirror and look in it.

Check these quotes out:

"You need to spy on them [your kids]. You do. You need to go through your children's phones, their diaries, and be actively looking. Look at who their friends are and go with your gut instincts."

"They [your kids] are accompished liars."

Unbelievable. If you think you can treat your kid like that, they're going to hate your guts, they wont respect you, as you don't respect their privacy. They're likely to undertake behaviour that is the direct oppose of what you want - it's called rebellion.

The parents should be in rebab. Ahh this topic makes me want to rage.

Any qualified shrinks/anyone out there who would like to agree/disagree? Let me know.

Pizza Hut, you're not Sals, stick to what you do best - providing a cheap pizza option when one cannot afford Hells.

2010-08-09T18:07:00.002+12:00

Pizza Hut needs to hire a decent marketing team.

In a recent move, Pizza Hut has attempted to become "the cheap Sals Pizza". The new PH advertising campaign (see above) is called "The Big New Yorker" and is a blatant rip on Sals very successful move into the Auckland pizza market - by offering a genuine NY style pizza. Sals is even owned by Italians. Its like, fully legit.

Pizza Hut, your latest move in the war of the pizzerias' is destined to fail, you will see.

Sals Pizza - the new kid on the pizza bloc.

Btw, if you haven't had Sals pizza yet, I highly recommend the experience. It's just how you think a NY Pizza would take like. It is hands down the best pizza you can buy (expect perhaps certain selections from the Hells menu and a little place in Onehunga).

Thoughts?

Who will win NZ's Next Top Model? The T.A.B. should have odds.

2010-08-09T07:55:00.002+12:00

NZ's Next Top Model Round 2 - I don't recommend you watch it.

Did you know that in Italy around the time of when Pope Benedict XVI was chosen to supersede ol' John Paul, the official Italian totaliser agency assigned each "contestant" with odds, effectively allowing the public to bet on who they believed would be the next Pope. Morally paradoxical?

What i'm throwing out there today is... why not do this for NZ's Next Top Model?

While it isn't always logic that drives the judges (Sara Tetro - NZ's answer to Tayra Banks, Colin Mathura-Jeffree and Chris Sisarich), rather, a balance of: who has done well vs. who will stir drama and keep viewers (there is always that one who keeps 'ef-ing up the challenges, but the judges say they see "potential". Potential drama that is).

Actually, the more I think about the show the more I don't recommend you watch it. The only appeal would be if you knew some poor girl on the show. Even then, it would be a push.

A TAB aspect would be interesting, though... considering the elimination process criteria. And it would sure as hell get more viewers, if that is the goal

Got a spare 2hrs and 11mins? Watch Treasure Island (1990)

2010-08-05T22:06:00.001+12:00

You know it's always a risk when you re-watch a movie that you loved when you were young. You tend to have developed an eye for crap acting and poor production value (thanks Avatar, everything looks like the muppets now).

Anyway, I have recently re-watched Treasure Island 1990, which, if you haven't seen it, features a 16 y/o Christian Bale and Charlton Heston. It is absolutely amazing. I highly recommend you watch it.

Christian Bale's acting hasn't really come that far, just imagine a 16 y/o batman, instead, dressed like a pirate.

An interesting note, the movie (a cult classic apparently) has obviously inspired many scenes in Pirates of the Caribbean (opening scenes, weapons used, pirate talk i.e. the use of the word "parle").

For a billionaire, Owen Glenn, you're a bit of a tightwad...

2010-08-04T15:09:00.000+12:00

As every business school student (should) know, Owen Glenn donated so much money to the Business School (University of Auckland), that they named the whole ~~space ship~~ building after him. It is "The Owen G. Glenn Building", or OGGB. There is even a cringe-inducing 2m x 2m oil on canvas portrait of the ol' philanthropist on level 1.

I digress...

I cruised past the "thanks-for-your-money" board on the way into the business school the other day and noticed this....

Why is it not the "Anonymous Trust Business School of Auckland"

Who is "Anonymous trust"? The Freemasons? The Knights Templar? Dan Browns personal world domination trust?

Why did OGB get the personal naming rights to the school and not Anon Trust? They obviously love throwing money around in secret...

Pam Corkery's brothel business Idea wouldn't win SPARK, heres why.

2010-08-03T07:13:00.003+12:00

Pam Corkery - Probably wouldn't win SPARK

I see the front page of todays paper. Pam Corkery, a once famous celebrity broadcaster, politician and journalist starting up a new business venture... a brothel - for women (services provided by men). Surely this is the kind of cover story designed for the tabloid-like Sunday Herald? Apparently not.

That aside, would investors back this ambitious business concept?

At the University of Auckland, there is this thing called SPARK. Basically, if you have a business idea, you write it up, and if it's good enough, SPARK will give you start up capital, mentor support and office space.

Would Pam Corkery get SPARK backing? Probably no. Why? Read on.

1) The competition. While there are no "brothels of this kind" in New Zealand (Annah Pickering, Prositiutes Collective), there is steep competition i.e. Any bar/club with single guys. My case in point, why would you pay for a can of red bull, if there is red bull being handed out for free in the quad...?

2) The customer. Described by the Miss Pickering as "probably cougars". Problem? They're going to have to find dudes who, every night, service much older ladies. Hard task? I don't know, but probably. Students are always looking for money, no doubt there will be new ads on SJS and trademe jobs in the next couple of months...

3) The venue. Apparently this thing is going to be located "somewhere in central Auckland". Great. Thats were I live. A huge reason not to fund with SPARK capital. And, thanks to "Casablanca", the infamous (and now retired) Greenwoods Cnr brothel (578 Manukau Road, Auckland), we already have our one exception.

"Casablanca" - the ex brothel in Greenwoods Corner.

4) Promotion/Marketing. Well, thanks to the New Zealand Herald, the business idea has a fair amount of negative publicity already, but I guess all publicity is good publicity when it comes to this industry...

5) Past failures. Has the concept been attempted before? Yes, and no - they didn't succeed. Why? Probably because of points 1 + 2 + bad management. I don't know. But apparently there used to be a "Showboys" under "Showgirls" down on Quay Street. It didn't last long.

How will it go? Will you go and check it out? I hope not. But we will see...

Can I "quote" you on that John Banks?

2010-08-01T13:30:00.005+12:00

John Banks, the Mayor of Auckland City.

I was reading/skimming the John Banks feature in the NZ Herald this weekend. It displays a history of his past "embarrassing" and incredible quotes (incredible, as in, incredibly racist, xenophobic and sexist).

The feature is called "Re-inventions of John Banks", and one would hope that he has re-invented himself, after reading a couple of his past quoted views on various topical issues. Can a leopard can change it's spots..?

Check out some of John's quotes.

"If you harpoon a Japanese you might save a whale" - 1995

"I don't want to sound racist, but if you took the Maori criminal out of the equation, New Zealand would be the safest country in the world" - 1993

"Transexuals, bisexuals, and transvestites are not wanted in the police... The very last thing we need in this country is policemen walking the beat wearing lipstick and pantyhose" - 1992

"It's fair enough that women are paid less than men" - 1983

This obviously doesn't portray ol' JB in a positive light, and I question the impartiality of the feature in the NZH compared to the Len Brown feature four weeks ago. The quotes more likely to be read by people, without having the balanced argument that the rest of the article has.

If you know you you're going to vote for in the up coming Auckland Supercity Mayoral Elections, take the poll on the right and side of the page!

New Blog Layout.

2010-07-31T18:01:00.000+12:00

Testing 1 ... 2 ...

Collective Nouns for Monsters....

2010-07-30T15:01:00.001+12:00

Absolute genius.

FANEX: The Fantasy Exchange Rate

2010-07-29T18:23:00.002+12:00

Not going to lie. I'm a Harry Potter fan. Currently I'm re-reading 1 - 7 before I watch the 7th movie installments (feel free to judge me, but its a good series).

Anyway.

In my re-reading saga, I have come across a few points of note... one I felt fairly strongly about, and I believe it warranted a blog post.

Ok. So. The Harry Potter-verse has a currency, it involves Knuts, Sickles and Galleons.

"The gold ones are Galleons. Seventeen silver Sickles to a Galleon and twenty-nine Knuts to a Sickle..." (Hagrid, HP 1)

Therefore: 1 Galleon = 17 Sickles = 493 Knuts.

What does JKR claim the exchange rate to the £ is?

JKR has stated in an interview that she estimates the value of one Galleon to be "about five pounds," which works out to around US$9.75 (the exchange rate at the time of the interview was US$7.33).

Ok, so lets try and translate this currency through to the NZD (based on the US$7.33 Ex.).

Comparison One

The Firebolt - worth "hundreds of Galleons", (pp 166 HP3). For arguments sake, lets say, a max of 1000 Galleons). So in NZD, this would be NZD$10,120.12. (USD$7,330). Wow that's cheap, comparatively, to say, at the very least, a new motorbike? International level motorbikes retail for well over 5 times that price.

Comparison Two

The Weasley's Bank Account - which has "one Galleon, and a small pile of sickles" (pp. 47 HP2). In that book, that amount was enough to school text books for 5 kids plus other supplies. They obviously weren't shopping at UBS, because they would have had to take out a second mortgage to even buy one first year book. The amount is the equivalent to about approximately $20. This would however, get one ticket to the Commerce Pub Crawl.

Wow. JKR. You really didn't do your FANEX homework did ya.

Know Your Meme?

2010-07-28T14:19:00.002+12:00

Are you studying for exams?

Don't go to this website if you want to still pass...

http://knowyourmeme.com/

Absolute gold.